Amnesty – Episode 4

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"Amnesty: Episode 4," as it appears on the MaximumFun website, is the fourth episode of The Adventure Zone: Amnesty.

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Full transcript available here.

Our heroes learn the whole truth of Mama's endeavors while recovering from a strange evening and begin planning their first hunt. Aubrey remembers a relic from her past. Duck gets a late night visit from Minerva. Ned gets stuck.

Rain continues to pour down, extinguishing the flames on the beast's pelt. Through the steam rising off the beast's pelt, the trio sees that there are eight more woodlands creatures starting to surround them, all of which seem to be possessed by the same black goo Ned saw oozing from the Bobcats he confronted earlier in the day.[1] As they slowly close in, a light flashes from the gate and Mama and Barclay step out. Without hesitation, Mama pulls a sawed-off shotgun from her duster and pumps two shots into the beast, not terribly damaging it but forcing its attention away from the trio. Suddenly there's another light as another vehicle speeds towards the group's location. The beast, sensing danger, has the animals surrounding it leap and absorbed into its form before dashing away into the woods.

The vehicle rolls to a stop at the edge the clearing and Duck recognizes it as a response car from the Monongahela National Forest Service. Mama begs the others not to say a single word about what just happened as ranger Juno Devine, Duck's co-worker, steps out with an umbrella in hand and asks Duck why he called her in earlier.[1]

TRAVIS: Now Griffin, is it a magical umbrella?
GRIFFIN: No, it's just a reg-I mean all umbrellas are magical if you think about the sort of incredible purpose they serve.

Duck tells her that he called her in because there was a "bear attack", which made him a little jumpy and caused him to overreact. Juno asks why the others are here with him in the middle of the woods in the middle of a storm. Aubrey tells her that Duck ran into them as they were getting into character by practicing in the woods for a community theater production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and that their presence helped spook the bear off.

DUCK: Yeah, that's literally the only time anyone's ever been helped by community theater. It was a miracle, honestly, and I was so relieved that I could be here for this momentous occasion.

Juno looks over to the gate, which she is unable to see, and spots Ned's semi-crashed car. She admonishes Ned for driving a car in the forest off the trail and tells Duck that they'll to head up to the station to write this up. Before leaving, Juno asks if anyone would like a ride back to Kepler. Mama tells her that she and Aubrey are just going to walk back to the Amnesty Lodge and Juno goes back into her car to write down in a notepad about the bear attack. Mama tells the others to meet up with her at the Lodge tomorrow at noon so she can pitch an idea to them, and, as the storm starts to calm down, everyone heads back into town.

Back at the Amnesty Lodge, Aubrey is settling into the room Mama has set up for her to live in. Also in this room is Dr. Bonkers, who rests peacefully on a small round cushion next to a small bowl of food pellets. Aubrey prepares to settle down for the night when she hears a soft knock on the door. Mama pokes her head in and asks Aubrey if she can recall anything in her past that was the same level of strange as the events that happened tonight.

AUBREY: Yeah, yeah, now that you mention it, there was that time when Hell poured into my b- what the fuck are you [slightly laughing] talking about? No!

Mama explains that she's trying to find something from Aubrey's past that can explain her connection to magic. Aubrey manages to recall a necklace called the Flame Bright Pendant that her mother took with her when she and Aubrey's father fell out with their family. However, Aubrey has no idea where it is as it was later stolen. Mama goes off to find out more about this necklace and she tells Aubrey that she's got a project she'll need help with tomorrow.

AUBREY: Like crafting?
MAMA: Somethin' like that.

Ned pulls his car up to the front of The Cryptonomica, where he sees a light inside still on. Ned heads in and sees Kirby mopping up a puddle left by the building's leaking roof. Kirby sees Ned walk in and asks how the whole "pretending to be Bigfoot" grift went, and Ned tells him that, while it went quite differently than expected, he did manage to get some good footage. Kirby puts away the mop and bucket and just as he does so, another trickle of water drips down at a different spot in the room. Kirby puts the bucket under the leak and frustratedly asks Ned why he decided to set up this tourist trap in the middle of nowhere.

As Ned explains, the Cryptonomica wasn't really opened as such, as it was more found by him. According to Ned, he got in some trouble in his past which gained him a friend who suggested that he could avoid said trouble by coming down to Kepler and settling down in an establishment she owned, which would later become the Cryptonomica.

NED: And so she went away, and now I'm stuck with it and stuck with the mortgage, and apparently stuck with an eviction notice, and stuck, just stuck.
KIRBY: [sighs] Yeah, I know that feeling.

Kirby sets the mop down next to the bucket, puts the various RC Cola cans laying around the room in the recycling bin, picks up his Macbook and prepares to head out for the night. Before he leaves, Ned tells him he'll get the landlord to fix the roof so that they at least won't get rained on in the seven days they have left until eviction.

NED: So wait a minute, I'm writing a note to myself on a post-it. [Talks to himself] Call Mr. Garfield-
GRIFFIN: No, come on, you don't get to wield the power of the Garfield insert.

Meanwhile, Duck, having finished his shift for the evening, brushes his teeth in his apartment's bathroom. After finishing up, Duck heads into his bedroom and sees the faint blue silhouette of the strange women from the woods[1] standing still between him and his bed, unmoving and with one of her arms half-raised. Recalling her name from previous encounters in his life, Duck greets Minerva and walks through her towards the bed. Minerva, however, does not respond to this and Duck starts to hear what sounds like a tinny, distorted acoustic blues tune coming from her form.

GRIFFIN: The music is moving and for a minute or so, it’s all you hear, just reverberating around your bedroom, before, in the blink of an eye, Minerva fades away.

As promised, the trio meets in the lobby of the Lodge the next day at noon. Through a window, the group is able to see a hairnet wearing Barclay working over a large pot. In the lobby, they also see Jake Coolice waxing his snowboard and Dani in the corner with a sketchpad in her lap doing some charcoal drawings. Mama greets them as she steps into the room and asks if they've eaten anything yet.

TRAVIS: Griffin, have we eaten yet? Should we roll to see if we ate?
GRIFFIN: Yeah, roll the hunger dice, that’s a special dice that I mailed each of you. It’s a two-sided dice.
TRAVIS: I got a 9?

Barclay begins to cook some food for the group as Mama leads the three of them into her office, Mama locks the door behind them as they enter and asks each of them to take a seat so she can get them all up to speed on what Abominations', affectionately nicknamed Bom-Boms by Ned and Aubrey, are and what her job entails. According to Mama, their origins are completely unknown. Even the Silv's have no idea what or where they come from, only that they always come from the gate into the human world and instantly start making a mess of things. Each one that comes through has a different instinct, and figuring out these instincts is part of the process of hunting them down, which they do to protect the people of Kepler. Also because, if the Abominations were to wander out beyond Kepler, it could lead to all-out war between humans and Silvs.

Mama explains that she has been fighting off these Abominations ever since the gate appeared back in 1988, but numbers have started to dwindle and, for obvious reasons, their job is a hard gig to hire for. Mama asks the three of them to help her protect Kepler and she pulls from her desk three circular patches made from Sylvian wool and depicting a tall, green pine tree standing in front of a sunset-hued gradient, which she places down in front of them.

GRIFFIN: And when you look back up at Mama, she pulls back the lapel of her duster, and you see that same patch sewn into the inside of her duster.
MAMA: I’m asking you three to join the Pine Guard.

[Money Zone]

MAMA: ...I know it kinda sounds like a brand of cleaning product.
AUBREY: Pine-Sol!
MAMA: Yeah, it’s a different thing. I mean, we’re not too worried about copyright infringement, because this is not something that we’re going to go around talking about. There’s not going to be, like, t-shirts and merch for the Pine Guard.
GRIFFIN: There will definitely, definitely be merch for the t-shirts and the badges of the Pine Guard, you can find it on our online store.

Aubrey instantly takes Mama up on her offer, while Ned is quick to ask if this job has health insurance.

MAMA: There’s the opposite of health insurance. There’s health endangerment, if anything.

Mama explains that in the 30 years she has been hunting Abominations, she has never anything like the one they encountered tonight, leading her to believe that they're starting to get stronger. However, after seeing the three of them stand their ground against it last night, she believes that, with a bit of prep work, they can take down the Beast for good. Barclay then steps into the room holding a tray carrying bowls of radish stew, which he places in front of each of them and he takes Dani's charcoal sketch, which depicts a detailed drawing of the Beast in the woods, and places it on the center of the table. Mama explains that her office also doubles as a planning room for the Pine Guard to plan out their hunts, which Mama says they'll have to do tonight.

According to her, Abominations appear every couple of months, about three nights before the full moon. For unknown reasons, the Abomination will then stay in the same area as the gate they came out of for the entirety of the next week, giving the Pine Guard a huge advantage in hunting them down. However, after the week is up, the Abomination will then be free to go anywhere they want, hence why Mama believes they need to hunt it down while they still have the chance.

NED: I need something clarified for me. So you’re telling me that all of these bom-boms that have been wandering through these woods for decades have not really been the Goat-boys and the Moth-dudes and the Bigfeets, and the Yahoos, but have been these creatures that came from the other place? Is that what you’re telling me?
MAMA: Well, I mean, the Sylphs who come from Sylvane, they’re good folks. That’s not who I’m talking about, and I want to make that entirely clear. Fuck, Barclay’s Bigfoot, you ain’t never seen him going around, you know, trashing a parking lot.
AUBREY: Barclay’s Bigfoot??
BARCLAY: [sigh] Yeah, I’m, uh, I am… Mr. Bigfoot.
AUBREY: Hell yeah, dude! You’re famous as shit!

Ned asks how many Abominations there are in Kepler currently. Mama tells him that, if they do their job, there should only be one at a time. However, Ned points out that he saw about nine or ten when he confronted the bobcat, and she explains that they might have been parts of the main Abomination. Duck interrupts the discussion to state his refusal to join up with the Pine Guard, as he is still sworn to his duty as a park ranger, but Mama tries to convince Duck that his inaction will put the wildlife of the Monongahela Forest in danger. Duck rebuffs that he's just a normal with a boat to finish and a cat to feed and who wishes to continue living. Suddenly, Ned remembers that Duck gave him a special item to keep in the back room, aka. the Chicanery, of the Cryptonomica.

DUCK: Aw, god, Ned! Ned, I told you to throw that thing away!
NED: I don’t throw anything away! I’m a big hairy hoarder!
DUCK: God dammit, Ned, one thing, man! Fuck! I ask one thing-- I mean, shame on me, I guess, I should’ve seen this coming, seems pretty blindingly obvious in hindsight.
NED: Well, it’s even worse, I tried to Ebay it about two years ago. Nothing happened.

Mama asks Duck that they at least talk about what the plan is before he makes any decisions to leave. Duck complies and the group begins to map out their plan.

Planning Time!edit | hide | edit source

  • What they know about the Beast
    1. It can absorb other animals and control them with its black ooze[1]
    2. It was attracted to Ned's septic stew, which was full of animal droppings[2]
    3. It is impulsive, acts on instinct, and is prone to flee when danger is near
    4. Weakness: Fire[2]
MAMA: Now hold on, hold on. This is important because in my experience every one of these things has something that it is susceptible to. Are you telling me that fire seemed to do some damage to this thing?
MAMA: Well ain’t that a coinky-dink. [grinning ear to ear] All right then. Got everything we know about this monster. What’s the plan?
  • The Plan
    1. Ned will put on his Wookiee costume, douse himself in animal shit, and will attempt to lure the Beast by driving around the forest in his Lincoln.
    2. Ned will lure the Beast into Crooked Bend Cave, which has been recently closed off from the public, where they will ambush it.
JUSTIN: Duck stands up and he starts walking out of the room.
AUBREY: Duck? Where you goin’?
DUCK: [sighs] I’m going to take back what’s mine.

[Theme Tune Plays]

Featured NPCsedit | hide | edit source

Featured Musicedit | hide | edit source

Featured Locationsedit | hide | edit source

Quotesedit | hide | edit source

Shyamalan Would Be Proudedit | hide | edit source

JUSTIN: [describing Duck's apartment] I’ve got a bunch of, you know, exotic animal heads from all my big game hunting--
GRIFFIN: Jesus, no. No, no.
JUSTIN: That’s right, twist! What a twist! [Clint laughing] Nobody saw this coming!
GRIFFIN: Veto, blackball.
JUSTIN: No, I have a lot of paintings of wildlife put up around the-- the house, some commendations from the park service for distinguished service, that kind of thing.

Mama's Secret to Successedit | hide | edit source

NED: What is your secret, Mama? Kepler is not exactly the, you know, the gay Pah-ree of the ski set, and I haven’t seen three customers in three months, and yet your lobby out there is packed! You’ve got people all over the place, they’re writing music and they’re waxing their skateboards, and everything else. What is your secret? Are you online, do you have some kind of deal with Yelp? What is your secret?
MAMA: Yeah, I got someone to open up a Yelp page for me a couple years back, but that’s, um, that’s not really where most of my...industry lies.
DUCK: More TripAdvisor? I heard they’re coming up in the ranks.

Thank You, Justinedit | hide | edit source

DUCK: I’ll admit that I’m-- I mean, I’m tougher than your average-- I was going to say bear, but I mean, that’s technically, I guess, still accurate.

TAZ Amnesty Episodes

Hunt for the Beast:
Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4 | Episode 5

Hunt for the Water:
Episode 6 | Episode 7 | Episode 8 | Episode 9 | Episode 10 | Episode 11 | Episode 12

Hunt for the Calamity:
Episode 13 | Episode 14 | Episode 15 | Episode 16 | Episode 17 | Episode 18 | Episode 19 | Episode 20

Hunt for the Countenance:
Episode 21 | Episode 22 | Episode 23 | Episode 24 | Episode 25 | Episode 26 | Episode 27 | Episode 28 | Episode 29

Episode 30 | Episode 31 | Episode 32 | Episode 33 | Episode 34 | Episode 35 | Episode 36

Italicized episodes are Lunar/Lodger Interludes.

References and Footnotesedit | hide | edit source

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