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Lucretia, also called The Director, is the leader and founder of the Bureau of Balance. Her name is known only to a select few. She is described as a middle-aged and largely exasperated human woman with dark skin, light hair, and a voice dripping with gravitas.

Historyedit | hide all | hide | edit source

She joins the IPRE as the chronicler of the journey because it seems like a story worth telling well.

Lucretia operates the Bureau of Balance. She is introduced to Merle, Magnus, and Taako on the moon base after they've been inoculated by The Voidfish. After destroying the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet, she offers the three boys employment as Reclaimers.[1]

Prior to forming the Bureau, Lucretia successfully reclaimed one of the Grand Relics, the Bulwark Staff, on her own but her next attempt at reclaiming a relic proved disastrous. She entered Wonderland, in a bid to use the park's contest to acquire another Relic, she lost twenty years of her life in a wager and Wonderland's "games" nearly killed her. She ultimately betrayed her guide, Cam, in order to escape. She also had an unspecified, but close and personal relationship with Capt. Captain Bane.

After the boys have returned six Relics it is revealed that Lucretia is actually one of the seven Red Robes who created the Grand Relics. She and the other Red Robes had tried to stave off the Hunger by creating the Relics and while the plan successfully hid them from the Hunger, it had a devastating effect on the world. A huge power struggle broke out over the powerful relics, killing many and further strengthening the Hunger. She took it upon herself to erase the other Red Robe members' memories and later created the Bureau of Balance in order to fix their mistake once and for all.

Being part of the Red Robes and spending a century together, Lucretia and the boys would have been very familiar with each other but the boys had no way of remembering their shared past until they were inoculated by Junior in episode 59.

After Tres (Dos) Horny Boys deliver the Animus Bell and are inoculated by Junior the baby Voidfish, it is revealed that Lucretia had the seventh Grand Relic the entire time, and that her true goal is to use the combined power of the Light of Creation to create a barrier around the Prime Material plane that will keep the Hunger out forever.

Powers and Abilitiesedit | hide | edit source

Spellsedit | hide | edit source

The following are the spells known by Lucretia.

Please note, that most low-level spells can be cast at an additionally higher level for a stronger effect.

1st - 6th Leveledit | hide | edit source

Name Synopsis Level School Number of Times Used Episodes Used
Shield of Faith A shimmering field appears and surrounds a creature of your choice within range, granting it a +2 bonus to AC for the duration. 1st-level Abjuration 1 Ep. 65

Current Itemsedit | hide | edit source

  • Blue and white robes, initially described as "very ornate."
  • Magical-ish portrait of herself and the other Red Robes
  • The Bulwark Staff
  • The entire Bureau of Balance staff

Quotesedit | hide | edit source

Hot diggity shit.... That is a baller cookie.


No dogs are allowed on the moon, unfortunately. Yeah, it’s s— well, they— here’s the problem: They just run right off the goddamn thing.


I’m gonna save all of us, Merle. We’re done dying.


I don’t know that I wanna be responsible for putting anything dangerous out into the world. Barry, Lup, I— I know you know your stuff, it’s just… the Light is a sickeningly powerful energy source. Any items powered by that energy are going to be… devastating.


This is just for a little bit. I’m gonna stop this, what we’ve done to this world. I’m gonna find you a place where you can be happy again. It’s just for a little while, and then, you’ll remember, I promise.


Featured Episodesedit | hide | edit source

Episodes featuring Lucretia

Fan Artedit | hide | edit source

Triviaedit | hide | edit source

  • Lucretia is the only character in Balance to have a canonically specified skin tone.
  • In the podcast, young Lucretia is described to have "the same light hair" as the Director. However, in the graphic novel, the Director has white hair, while her younger self has dark brown hair.
  • Lucretia can speak 8 languages.
  • Lucretia is not only ambidextrous, but she can write non-symmetrically with both hands at the same time.
  • Lucretia describes herself as "a woman who is in her mid-fifties" to THB in Moonlighting, meaning that her age at the start of the mission was somewhere between 20 and 25. This makes her the second-youngest of the Starblaster crew.
  • Lucretia studies painting at Legato, despite already being an adept painter. Given that she uses her art to document the mission, she may have wanted to further hone her skills for utilitarian purposes. (Cycle 30)
  • Lucretia is the only crew member other than Taako to state she believes the relic plan could cause harm to those on the planes, well before the start of the Relic Wars. (Cycle 92)
  • Lucretia invokes the promise the crew made on the robot cycle not to harm the worlds during Story and Song, implying she was trying to uphold it even when the crew would not. (Cycle 17)
  • Although Griffin said Lucretia will remember Magnus's promise in cycle 92, she does not invoke it when he goes back on his word in Story and Song. (Cycle 92)
  • However, Lucretia does say she believes Lup had the same goal as her, of disarmament, when she disappeared to undo the relic plan without consulting anyone. (Story and Song)
  • In Imbalance, Griffin states Davenport's biggest regret is not letting Lucretia's voice be heard during the conversation in cycle 92. (Cycle 92)
  • Surviving cycle 65 changes her. Lucretia "spent less time chronicling your journey and more time participating in it. She became fierce and confident and decisive," growing from her wallflower personality at the start of the century (Cycle 65)
  • The century of apocalypses changed her as well: "Imagine that feeling of loss, imagine that guilt, the pressure it would put on you. How you would change beneath that pressure.[...] What would you do to stop it? What would you do to protect the ones you loved, the ones who also felt that terrible weight? That is the reality of our heroes. That is what will lead them down the path to their destinies." (Cycle 99)
  • Despite them having known each other for 100 years, Lucretia was afraid to talk or argue with her friends during the Relic Wars. However, she "could not live with the cost [of the relics]" and do nothing while people died.
  • Most of all, she couldn’t handle what Relic Wars were doing to the crew: "She couldn’t bear your sorrow, your pain, your guilt; how it made you… miserable, and calloused, and shut off from the world." Griffin states the crew's distress during the wars was her biggest motivation to act. (Cycle 99)
  • In the finale, Lucretia's apparent happy ending is continuing her work with the BoB undoing what the relics did to the world. (Story and Song)
  • Few people who have lived have ever experienced such loneliness, such hopelessness.

Referencesedit | hide | edit source

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