Dust – Episode 4/Transcript

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Transcript by the lovely volunteers at TAZscripts.

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Travis: Previously on The Adventure Zone:

Marcus: You’ve got groups like the Church, the Law, that if this town were to become incorporated, they would lose a pretty big handhold in the Crescent Territory.

Dylan: I loved Jeremiah Blackwell, and he loved Ann.

Augustus: What is the antidote to despair? Well, my friend, it is action.

Errol: Nice to meet you too, uh, Banshee. Yeah?

Banshee: Yeah. Let’s get down to business. I want to help you in this.

Travis: The spirit that has been occupying the body in front of you leaves it and the Banshee is gone from the room. So you open the envelope, a key falls out, uh, a house key. You pull out the piece of paper that’s in there, you turn it over. It simply says, “Don’t trust Connors.”

[Theme music (The Adventure Zone: Dust Theme by Griffin McElroy) plays]

Travis: So you guys wanna know who did it?

Clint: I already know. I’ve already figured it out. I just didn’t want to reveal it in Episode 2.

Travis: Now this is a thing you used to do when we played Clue or you watched mo- Where you go like “Oh,” and we’d be like “What?” and you’d be like “Mmm, you’ll figure it out.” [crosstalk] You never knew.

Clint: [crosstalk] And I was always- I was always right.

Travis: No, there is no way—

Justin: I did once see Dad solve a Clue game after two rounds of clues, it was amazing.

Travis: I have to think he cheated, I still can’t believe—

Griffin: [crosstalk] He, in some way, cheated.

Justin: Don’t— don’t reopen this wound Travis. Please.

Travis: Okay.

[Clint laughs in the background]

Travis: So, we just put out Episode 3, so it’s fairly recent, so I don’t think we have to go over all the clues again, but so— can you guys give me a quick, like, where you’re at now, what your plan is, I will say I want—

Justin: Can I say something? Let’s go over the clues again!

Griffin: Yeah, I think we at least have an idea now of what is relevant? It’s—

Justin: Here’s the thing I’m starting with: Unless it is Liam, I don’t have a good— I don’t have any other good suspects.

Griffin: Well I think if you want to look at motive, I kind of suspected the sheriff before we got the grim omen from the Banshee because if the town gets incorporated, the Law, I think, loses a foothold in town, right? [Justin: Right.] If they bring in more proper infrastructure and you know, sort of codify the lower case L “law” in town, I think the sheriff loses something and so that might be a reason why they would commit a murder. The thing is—

Justin: Now who was the sheriff vouching for so hard last time?

Griffin: Uh, Tommy Nox.

Justin: Tommy Nox, yeah.

Griffin: So maybe there’s a collaboration that was happening there. The thing- the thing that makes this case so curious is the— [Travis: Benjamin Button] Is how it actually happened. Is the— is that they— somebody knew where Jeremiah and where Dylan was gonna be. Somebody killed Jeremiah in the street, I’m assuming with these gloves, although that could just be a big red herring from Travis, and then somehow got them cleaned and back to the house where Liam was staying before we took notice? There’s a lot— there’s just so many question marks still out there.

Clint: I think we need to lock in some things. I think the gloves is a good example. We have had nothing else that has even come close to being a murder weapon. I think every indicator points to the gloves— I say we lock in the glove as the murder weapons.

Griffin: Unless that’s exactly what fucking Travis wants! Well, maybe we’ll find something in Sheriff Connors’ house. We’re about to go get a big clue, I feel like. So instead—

Justin: Let’s go kick open Sheriff Connors’ doors.

Travis: Wait, was I supposed to be writing this down? Like, am I supposed to know what we’re doing? Oh, no. I’m making this up as we go along, babyyy. Alright—

Justin: Aw yeah, baby.

Travis: Aw yeah, baby.

Griffin: What time is it as we make our way to the address listed on the card?

Travis: I will say it’s about 6 o’clock. [Griffin: Fuuuck.] I mean, you’ve still got some time, but it’s getting there, you know?

Griffin: Okay. I mean, best case scenario for me is we don’t solve it in time and then we have some, like, big hero moment at the sheriff’s station where we like, fend off the whole town gunslinger-style. Just—

Travis: A whole Tombstone moment.

Griffin: Right. This is our justice, et cetera.

Travis: Every town has a story, Dry River has a legend.

Clint: We deal in lead, friend.

Justin: Speaking as someone whose greatest combat ability is um, not getting hurt by things, that sounds a little bit underwhelming to me. I’d like to crack the case, if we could.

Griffin: Alright.

Travis: Alright, so you’re heading to the address on the card with the house key given to you by the Banshee. When you approach the home it is, in fact, to confirm Griffin’s suspicions, it is Sheriff Connors’ home. A couple doors down— about three doors down from the jail house.

Griffin: How many doors down?

Travis: Three doors.

Griffin: [muttering] If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? [normal voice] Y’all remember that jam? So if it’s near the jail, then it’s not on Carrion Street then, right?

Travis: Correct.

Griffin: Farts. Okay. I was just saying like, there’s no bells here, I’m fucking useless.

Travis: No, but the streets are clear, the windows are dark, you know that the sheriff is still at— You left him at the jail. He said he would keep an eye and protect Dylan, so you’re fairly confident the house is empty. You know from your intel that Connors lives alone. So you can feel pretty confident about using the key and whatnot without having to worry about repercussions.

Griffin: Well, I— still, we should be cautious, I feel like.

Travis: Well, yeah. You’re sneaking into somebody’s house. I was just giving you like, if this was like— if this was a Quest for Glory game, here’s what you know. This is a low stealth check, you know what I mean?

Griffin: So there’s this thing called Let it Out where you extend your senses, supernatural or otherwise to like, just like do like— I’m trying to figure out a way to use my keen wolf senses to like, see if there’s anyone inside the house or any sort of dangers we should be aware of.

Travis: Do it, babyy. I’ve been listening to too much Magic Tavern, I can’t stop.

Griffin: Okay, that’s a six, which is not great, but plus one for Spirit, so that’s a seven. So it’s a hit. So, I do mark corruption…

Travis: Uh-huh.

Griffin: Racking that shit up! Oh, no, I’m just at two, it’s fine. And yeah, I just sorta, like, take a beat, stop my companions and, like, take a deep sniff, a hard sniff.

Travis: So I will say that you do sense some light magical warding on the door, just kinda think, like, security system, you know, like… but not— since you used your supernatural tec— it doesn’t seem to connect anywhere, more of, like, this way, someone would know if someone had gone in, but it wouldn’t necessarily raise an alarm or anything like that. It’s fairly common, this idea of, like, “There was someone in my house,” but it doesn’t connect to a more intricate system.

Griffin: They got that on the window?

Travis: Window and door.

Griffin: So there’s no way of going inside this house without somebody knowing about it.

Travis: Well—

Griffin: Well…

Errol: Hey, Gandy, there’s a little bit of magic something-or-other on the doors and windows here, into the house. You—

Gandy: I have a couple of options. I have a teleport spell.

Errol: Okay?

Gandy: Where I can teleport someone a short distance… it seems to me that would get you past any kind of wards to keep you out.

Errol: I mean, you can bamf one of us, right, but then the other two are still gonna be—

Justin: Augustus floats through the wall.

Errol: Oh, yeah, I forgot, okay, so—

[Travis laughs]

Justin: And he looks at everybody from inside, through the window.

Augustus: Hello!

Errol: … Hi, Augustus, that’s a neat trick, I forgot that that’s why, uh, why you earn the big bucks. Gandy, why don’t you just ‘port on in there and I’ll keep an eye out out here?

Gandy: Very well!

Clint: So… she— oh, nice. In channeling, she’s channeling, that’s a 10…

Griffin: Do you have to ch— sorry, do you have to— I don’t know how the channeling works, but you did it last time and you got three Hold, do you not just continue to spend that Hold, or is there, like, a certain amount of time that you have to go between channelings?

Clint: I dunno, Trav? Trav, is it—?

Travis: Yeah, sure.

Griffin: “When you channel and collect your magics, roll wi-” Yeah, I guess- oh, you can’t channel again this scene. That’s what it is. So it’s, like, scene by scene. So, I guess this is a new scene and you can do it again.

Clint: Okay. I rolled a 10, so that’s…

Travis: Hold three.

Clint: That’s pretty much a Hold three, so a really cool Star Trek kind of effect, twinkle twinkle twinkle, and then I’m inside the room with Augustus.

Griffin: Mmkay. And I’m gonna, like, walk down the stairs off the porch a bit so as not to arouse suspicion, and just sorta keep an eye out down the street.

Travis: [joking] Okay, well, I could follow Gandy and Gus here, but instead, they’ll do whatever, and I think I’m just gonna spend the next hour with Errol on the street. Errol, what’re you doing? You know, just looking around, kicking some dirt, whistling— oh, no, don’t whistle, it’ll draw— oh, what am I going to— [serious] okay, so I go with Gus and Gandy.

[Clint chuckles]

Travis: So, you enter the house, it’s, you know, it’s dark, there’s no candles lit or lanterns, the only thing you get is kinda the ambient— I was gonna say “moonlight,” but here we are, we’re near 6 o’clock, so the moon is real low, so you’re just getting a little bit of ambient light. Gus, I’m gonna say that that’s probably not so much of a problem for you. Gandy, do you have anything that would help you here, I mean, it doesn’t even have to be magical! You could always just, like, light a candle or something.

Griffin: Knowing Gandy, if there is an opportunity for something— for a magical answer to an everyday dilemma, I feel like you have some sort of, y’know, enchanted mag-light.

Clint: And so you are correct, sir!

Travis: Excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent.

Clint: She has what’s called the V-Torc. It’s a gold torc she wears around her neck. It’s an artifact, and it has a natural, ambient light that she can use. And it just kind of suffuses the general area around her and Augustus with a warm golden glow.

Justin: Mmm.

Clint: Which goes right through Augustus and…

Justin: It’s very nice.

Travis: Excellent. So, as you enter the room, here in the— you know, his kind of living quarters what you see is on the wall newspaper clippings about his time in kind of more established cities back east, the incorporated territories, where you see a much younger but still clearly Sheriff Connors as a young beat cop, in these more established- in this more established city, which I have not picked a name for but I’m just gonna call it right now the Big City, the BC.

Clint: That’s “Bigg” with two G’s.

Travis: Yeah, B-I-G-G, Bigg the Cat.

Griffin: And “Cityy” with two Y’s.

Travis: Cityy with two Y’s. In Bigg Cityy. And you find newspaper clippings about this young fresh-faced cop who it seems like was very successful. And then they just kind of stop, you know. And the last you see a young man about 25, and then suddenly there’s no more newspaper clippings. And that’s about all you see here in kind of the— I don’t want to say “living room” ‘cause it’s not really that so much as just like, a chair, you know, a table. It doesn’t look super lived in. You kind of get the impression that Sheriff Connors spends most of his time at the sheriff’s office. He only pretty much only comes back here to eat and sleep.

Clint: Is there any more detail in the last newspaper clipping that we found. Anything at all that would indicate what happened?

Griffin: And then he turned evil! “Beat cop goes bad!”

Clint: Well, if something bad happened, he messed up or something, that would kind of explain why he has been, you know, exiled to this place.

Travis: The last story— the last story you can see— is about Connors making the arrest of a low-level enforcer for a crime family in the Bigg Cityy.

Justin: What’s the enforcer’s name?

Travis: The enforcer’s name is…

Clint: Flint Chittles.

Travis: Flint Chittles.

[Griffin laughter]

Justin: Woah, okay, that’s amazing, ‘cause I didn’t think—

Clint: It all comes back!

Travis: [crosstalk] It all ties back.

Justin: [crosstalk] It all ties together.

[Clint laughter]

Travis: Let me see, I’ll give you that name in a moment. Once I look at Twitter.

Clint: So it’s not Flint Chittles.

Travis and Justin in unison: It’s not Flint Chittles.

Clint: That was some good storytelling on my part.

Justin: Who I— I don’t recall who—

Travis: It’s actually just some amazing memory on Dad’s part.

Justin: I just don’t recall who Flint Chittles was.

Griffin: He runs one of the mining companies— or I guess is the manager at the…

Clint: No, it had something to do with— I thought it had something to do with the Augustus Parsons Cashew Company.

Griffin: Yeah, they own the mining company and secured the land from Augustus Parsons—

Clint: Ah, right.

Travis: The name is Bishop, named after listener Holly Bishop on Twitter, thank you for tweeting about the show. Bishop, he was a low-level enforcer for a crime family in the Bigg Cityy. It doesn’t mention what crime family. It’s not even a big article, it seems to be kind of a two-paragraph, maybe buried on like, you know page five of the newspaper kind of deal.

Clint: So a dead end.

Justin: I’m going to extend my senses. I too can Let it Out with my ghostly powers. So I’m going to—

Travis: I keep wanting to sing Let It Go and I want you all to appreciate that I haven’t yet.

Griffin: Thank you Travis.

Justin: Well, considering that it’s Let it Out, that is admirable restraint.

Clint: [To the tune of Let It Go] Let it out, let it out!

Justin: No— well, okay. Well.

Travis: [crosstalk] Done it. You are my puppet, Father!

Justin: [crosstalk] I’m gonna roll… that’s a… what is that, eight? Plus Spirit, which, I’m a ghost, so that’s two. So it’s a 10.

Griffin: So you can choose two effects or take one and no corruption. And I bet I know which one you’re gonna do.

Justin: I’m gonna ignore the corruption and—

Griffin: Woah, nevermind, I was wrong.

Justin: Just kidding, ha ha.

[Travis laughter]

Justin: I’m gonna extend my senses, supernatural or otherwise and I’m going to take one forward on my next roll.

Travis: Okay, you feel two powerful sources. Both of them coming from the direction upstairs. One about, I would say at least twice if not more powerful than the other. But both seem to be going away from kind of his living area and kitchenette and heading upstairs.

Justin: Okay, I’m gonna float upstairs then.

Griffin: Hey, what’s going on outside?

Travis: Well it’s a good question. What does Errol see? First of all, I will say that maybe Errol can see a little bit of that golden glow. Just a little bit, but enough that, you know it ain’t something you’re crazy about seeing there in the window, it ain’t exactly low profile, but the street is still fairly empty. You hear rustling, you can see some lights in windows further down the street, but there’s no one out at this time.

Griffin: If I see lights in windows, am I assuming that people are starting to wake up?

Travis: Oh yeah.

Griffin: Farts.

Travis: Far down the street you can see the worker housing. It’s starting to light up. You know you still have a while. The shift doesn’t start at the mine for while.

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: But it’s getting there. Um. Tell me, how’s Errol feeling?

Justin: I was going upstairs to look at the super magic clues and we’re really getting B-roll right now? Like this is what we’re doing?

Griffin: I’ll be quick: I’m feeling nervous.

[Travis laughs]

Travis: Okay, so as you float upstairs you reach what is clearly Connors’ bedroom, and you see in a corner something that you are not surprised to see, and that is a shrine to… one moment, I’ve lost my notes.

Justin: Jesus?

Travis: A shrine to Jesus.

Griffin: “Dear Jesus, give me the power I need to do all the good crime busting today.”

[Clint laughs]

Griffin: “Help me get all the good clues, Jeezy, and, uh—”

Travis: You see a shrine to Limdafel (sp?), who you know is the, kind of demonic presence that The Law — capital T, capital L — was founded by the worshippers of Limdafel. It’s the order— what you know from just general intel, is the followers of Limdafel, The Law, believe in power through order. Now what you weren’t expecting to see is the whole shrine seems to be covered in like a fairly fine but clear layer of dust. There is, as with most shrines you’ve seen, a book laid open. This is how the followers tend to communicate with the people they worship and follow, but the book is burned out through the center. And on investigation, it is clear that the fire kind of— it’s seems that the fire— whatever burned it out was from the middle of the book, and not from outside-in. [Others “hmm”ing] And that is the less powerful supernatural presence or power you are feeling. There is a closet, and that’s where you feel the more powerful supernatural power.

Augustus: Now, Gandy, my impulse is to see what is inside the closet. Would you like to open the door to the closet or would you like me to just sort of duck in there?

Gandy: I have a very strange feeling, but I’m afraid… that if—

Augustus: I understand.

Gandy: —that if it’s magical in origin it might even harm you. How about if I cast Shielding…

Augustus: Yes, I believe a—

Gandy: …to protect us both before we open the closet?

Augustus: Yes, I believe a bit of Prestidigitation is indeed called for.

Clint: Okay so she casts Shielding, which comes off another one of her artifacts. She’s got this jet carved bracelet around her… her…

Griffin: Wrist?

Clint: …wrist! Which would be a good place for a bracelet.

Travis: Yes.

Clint: Do I need to roll anything?

Travis: No, so you still have your— you still have two holds left.

Clint: I still have two holds— one hold left.

Travis: No—

Clint: I used one.

Travis: You have two—

Clint: Oh no, I rolled up again. Okay, so I have two holds left, so I’m gonna use this shielding and…

Travis: Now, if you want to shield everybody in a small area that’s your last two holds, just so you know.

Clint: Right, that’s right. I use two holds to provide plus one armor to everybody in a small area, and that includes me and Augustus, right?

Travis: Correct.

Griffin: Yep.

Clint: Okay, so I cast this Shielding and then I… she reaches out and opens the closet door.

Travis: It’s a good thing you cast that shielding because what is released from the closet is a blast of wild magic. And what you see inside is a second shrine, this one very clearly actively being used. And let’s, um… let’s do Face to a Name. Or Name to a Face.

Justin: Wait, did Dad protect us with a shielding spell?

Travis: Yeah.

Justin: Dad!

Clint: What?

Travis: That was effective magic!

Justin: Dad, you used magic effectively!

Clint: And now I have learned the true lesson.

Justin: Woah, Dad is glowing, and he’s floating into the sky!

Travis: Woah!

Justin: Goodbye, Dad! You did it!

Clint: I will look down upon you from the heavens!

[Griffin laughs]

Justin: Goodbye, our dad!

Clint: Goodbye!

Justin: [crosstalk] This is all Dad was waiting for.

Travis: [crosstalk] We released him from his curse!

Clint: Goodbye, Dolly!

Travis: [crosstalk] I’ll miss him. Goodbye, Dad! I love you!

Justin: [crosstalk] Thank you for listening to the last episode of The Adventure Zone.

[Clint and Travis laugh]

Griffin: Did I hear that from the street?

Travis: I would say maybe like the second floor windows kinda rattled a little bit.

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: Definitely not, like, crazy, but like, you look up and you see a little kinda maybe swell in the glow you could’ve already seen up there, and the windows rattle a little bit. Yeah, so Gandy and Gus, maybe give me a Name to a Face kinda roll here. Maybe that that will… I’m trying to think of a way that you would identify the shrine. And I think that that’s what would make sense.

Clint: Is that one of Gandy’s moves? I don’t see it on this—

Griffin: It’s a faction move. So you just roll two d6.

Clint: Okay. Five and three. Do I add anything to it?

Travis: So it’s an eight.

Griffin: You roll with Faction, and right now I don’t think we know what the faction’s like— If it’s a god—

Travis: [crosstalk] Okay, so, Power.

Griffin: —it may… Power. Okay.

Travis: Oh no, sorry, it is Wild.

Justin: You know what, I got a plus one to Wild and I rolled a nine, so I got a 10.

Clint: Eight, and then my Power faction is two.

Griffin: It’s Wild.

Travis: That’s okay ‘cause Gus knows this, through all of your ghostly learnings. You recognize this as a shrine to Amdafel (sp?), who is Limdafel’s brother. Amdafel, you know, is the demonic presence whose worshippers believe in power through chaos. Amdafel is the far wilder, less predictable, far more dark sibling of Limdafel. And sitting on that shrine is a similar book to the one that you saw on Limdafel’s shrine, but this one is not burned out, it’s just sitting there waiting for you to open it.

Augustus: No thank you.

Gandy: I… I’ve gotta read it.

Clint: Gandy has to look at it. That’s her whole driving thing!

Justin: Out of the corner of her eye, Gandy notices that Gus is floating down through the floor.

Augustus: Oh no, it’s happening again! I am--

[Griffin laughter]

Augustus: Oh, this is embarrassing, I’ve…oh no.

Justin: And then he’s gone.

Travis: So, Gandy, you’re going to open the book, yes?

Clint: Oh yeah, yeah!

Travis: So when you touch the cover of the book, it springs open, but that’s — here’s the thing — normal for this kind of shrine communication. And what you see is the last communication that happened between Connors and Amdafel, and on the left-hand page is written in fairly normal handwriting, “What are your orders?” And on the right-hand page, in a far more scrawly, jerky handwriting is, “Stop the deal no matter what.”

Griffin: I think it might be a clue, guys.

Justin: It does feel that way to me.

Griffin: My gut is telling me we’re in clue town.

Justin: Alright, Gus floats back up.

Augustus: Well, what did you find?

Gandy: Um, I think it’s a clue.

Augustus: Very good.

Gandy: I think that the note about the sheriff--not trusting the sheriff was really on the nosey.

Augustus: Alright, well it seems that the sheriff is attempting to sow unrest by killing young Blackwell.

Gandy: Then I think you better go bust his ass, Augustus.

Griffin: Well, we could all do it, yeah.

Augustus: Yes, you’re a wizard with apparently infinity— you’re just like—

Gandy: [crosstalk] It does seem that way, doesn’t it— whoo!

Augustus: —Dollar store of like magical trinkets just jingling off your— here’s a list of my super powers: am a ghost, have ghost cashews. Those are my two big things.

Gandy: We need to go tell Errol and we need to go finish this.

Augustus: Yes, let’s report back to Errol. Gandy, are you going to take the book with you?

Gandy: [giddily] Oh absolutely! Do you have any idea what it would be like to communicate with this entity on a regular basis, answer the questions of life and death and maybe even get some penmanship tips because this is really bad cursive here.

Augustus: Being able to communicate with a demonic presence every moment of every day, yes, Gandy, I too have Twitter.


Travis: Topical! Um, so—

Augustus: Topical humor.

Travis: To cut back—

Augustus: And what is Twitter, you might be asking, well… [Clint giggles] … in this world… [sighs] just pretend.

Griffin: Just pretend that he had a good answer there.

Clint: Fantasy Twitter!

Justin: Fantasy Twitter— [indistinguishable]

Griffin: It’s a big bag of 140 birds that everybody carries—

Justin: 280 birds now.

Travis: That’s too many birds!

Griffin: It’s double the amount of birds, it’s a great weight.

Justin: To each bird, a character.

Travis: Um, so back out on the street, Errol you hear the shuffling of footsteps behind you.

Griffin: Behind me towards the house or behind me down the street?

Travis: Down the street. You turn, and there’s Sheriff Connors. And Sheriff Connors sees Gus and Gandy, I assume, coming out of the house.

Gandy: [yells] We got your boooook!

Travis: And he sees the book and says:

Connors: Well, shit. So it looks like maybe an explanation’s in order. Why don’t y’all come back to the jail with me, I can explain everything.

Errol: We could also just sort of do this right here, I would also be curious to hear what’s in that there book.

Connors: Well if y’all will just trust me for a second I’d rather not draw attention to us here on the street, if you know people are starting to wake up, and if you want to keep Dylan safe, I think we need to head back to the jailhouse.

Griffin: I mean, thinking about it, us killing the sheriff of this town in the middle of the street, even if he’s a bad guy, is probably optics-wise not great, so maybe we should try to do this in private. No matter what this confrontation looks like, it’d probably be better to do it without onlookers.

Clint: Yeah, if we get the Grayson internal affairs people involved, that’s gonna be forever.

Griffin: Oh, there’s so much paperwork.

Clint: All the reports, sheesh!

Travis: So! You follow him back to the jailhouse, he walks in, and the first thing he does is he takes out his gun and lays it on his desk and he takes from his calf, strapped to his calf, a long dagger. It looks to be kind of a repurposed bayonet: very long, very thin. He lays that on his desk as well. Kind of a, like, “No threat going on here” kind of deal, you know what I mean, “I’m taking my weapons out.” And let’s say, Gandy, with your experience with magical artifacts, with both gun and dagger, the gun is very polished silver with a black onyx handle, um, and the — it’s not actually silver, you wouldn’t make a gun out of silver, but it’s polished — you know what I mean.

Griffin: Sure.

Travis: Highly polished metal. The dagger, on the other hand, does have running through the center of it from the crossguard to almost the point, a thin line of silver. Both of them share similar sigils that Gandy you know are— magically imbue these weapons so that they are effective against all manner of beings, be they corporeal or incorporeal, fae, or Power, or human, or Night, or whatever. And these are very common artifacts used by the Law that allows them to effectively enforce the law without having to worry about facing creatures more powerful than themselves.

Griffin: Dagger OP? Dagger OP, please nerf.

Clint: I think that Gandy also flicks her wrists and the two matching derringers of hers come out of her sleeves—

Griffin: Whoa. Whoa!

Justin: Whoa.

Clint: —that she’s had — that she established in the first episode! — takes them and puts them on the table right next to the sheriff’s weapons.

Griffin: I’m gonna keep my revolver, I’m great with that.

Justin: Augustus reaches into his pocket and takes out his spectral cashews and puts them on the table.

[Clint laughs]

Travis: Alright.

Clint: And they go right through it! [continues laughing]

Justin: Yeah.

Augustus: It’s prop comedy, I told you.

Griffin: And he says, “Aw nuts.”

Augustus: Aw, nuts.

Clint: Cashews just go right through me.

Augustus: Getting nuts!

Connors: So it seems like maybe we need to have a conversation, huh? Don’t worry about the boy, he’s asleep, no reason to wake him for this. So this looks bad, huh?

Errol: It doesn't look good!

Connors: Let me tell y’all a story. A story about a young man who believed in right and wrong. Who believed in justice. Thought he could make a difference. That young man…

Augustus: Was it you?

Connors: I mean yes, but that’s—


Connors: A less interesting way but alright, it was me. When I started—

Augustus: I thought it might have been you.

Connors: When I started as a cop, I thought I could change but there’s so much— not just red tape, but corruption. People for whom money was more important than right and wrong and justice, and... I was just beginning to make a difference: shutting down families that were hurting people, that were doing wrong. And then my commanding officer told me to drop it, to let it go, to be satisfied with what I’d done and move on to other things. And I did a little digging and it turned out that my CO was getting paid off by the family, and when I tried to confront it, they tried to transfer me and I walked away.

And I came out here. Came out here to where I could make a difference without having to answer to anybody but myself. And I’ve worked--I’ve worked hard--for the last thirty years to try to change things here, and I’ve… [sighs] You can’t imagine what this town was like when I got here. It was constant bloodshed, and over the last couple years I’ve seen this town heading that way again. And I’m not gonna let bureaucracy come in here, I’m not gonna let red tape come in here, I’m not gonna let corruption come in here and stop me from making this place better. And so… yes, I realize that order wasn’t what the Crescent Territory needed anymore. And things had to be done. And listen, I— I’m not proud of the decisions that I’ve made. But it’s what had to be done to keep people safe, do you understand that?


Augustus: Sheriff, did you kill Jeremiah Blackwell?

Connors: …Yes.

Augustus: Well, we can sit here and swap sentences and pontificate on the relative morality of that decision, but I do need to know: are you going to let this boy go?

Connors: Absolu— listen, I can’t— [sighs] This wasn’t supposed to go down like this.

Travis: And he reaches into his desk and he pulls out another set of diggers. Another set of gloves.

Connors: I took these off Liam a while back.

Travis: And they’re coated in blood.

Connors: This is what I used. My plan was to track all this back to Liam, I didn’t— Dylan wasn’t supposed to be there, and so, listen— you have to believe me. No matter what, even if y’all hadn’t shown up tonight, this was never gonna track back to Dylan. Liam’s the head of the workers. I pin this on him, now the Fangs and the Furs don’t trust the workers. A Fur killed a Fang, now the Fangs don’t trust the Furs, the Furs don’t trust the Fangs. We create chaos, law steps in, I calm everything down. Right? We work again to rebuild, we make this town strong— we don’t need— listen, there is money here in this town, from the copper, and from the silver, and Mr. Parsons, you should know better than anybody, when the government steps in and you have to pay taxes and you have to pay politicians and suddenly your money isnt your own anymore, that’s not what this town needs.

Errol: I’ve got a question for you, sheriff. Why did you bring us on? You had to know if we investigated this case, we could’ve figured out what you did.

Connors: Well, I could tell you that I was hoping you’d pin it on Liam, and I could tell you that I was hoping you would side with me at the end but… if I’m being honest, when I planned this, I thought you were coming tomorrow.

[Clint laughs]

Gandy: Then that would’ve cost two innocent people their lives, correct? Jeremiah and Liam.

Connors: Better than a whole town— don’t you understand? This town is dying, and incorporating is its death knell. If you want to save a body, sometimes you have to amputate. You can’t— you can’t save everyone.

Gandy: I know all about death. I’ve learned so much about death, and I know that you placing such lack of emphasis on the deaths of two young men, that’s not your decision to make!

Connors: So whose is it? Who’s in charge here, ‘cause from my standpoint, it’s me. I’ve been saving this town for 30 years, are you really gonna step in here and tell me you would know better, or that anyone would know better? You aren’t here. You don’t know.

Augustus: You’re… You are entitled to whatever feelings that you wish to have. My feeling currently is this: I do not wish Mr. Mathis to spend any more time in his cell, and I hope before we continue our conversation you can release him. If you wish to place yourself in the cell, that is your decision of course, but otherwise I trust that you will stay here.

Connors: Well, as I see it. We got two options.

Augustus: Well let’s hear them, but do make it quick. I’ve made my preferences known.

Connors: Option 1: Dylan goes free of course. We pin this on Liam, we both, you know, step forward, you present your evidence against Liam, I present the gloves. And everything moves forward as planned. The town survives. Option 2: Dylan goes free. You take me into custody. And this town falls into the hands of corruption and bureaucracy, and they don’t trust law anymore. They don’t know right from wrong anymore. And there’s no one left to guide them.

Griffin: I was hoping one of the options would be like a cool gunfight with the sheriff.

Augustus: Yes.

Gandy: Knife fight, even a knife fight.

Griffin: That would have been even cool, too, I think.

Gandy: You have to understand something, sheriff. Our primary goal is to accomplish this job. We were hired to come in here and prove Dylan Mathis’s innocence and to free him from the cell. I can’t speak for the other two, but I personally don’t care about all the rest. And if Dylan is not out of that cell, then we haven’t accomplished our mission.

Connors: Either way, boy goes free. Don’t— you don’t have to worry about Dylan.

Errol: Sheriff, you may find this hard to believe, but we’re speaking the same language here. Last thing I want is for outside interests to come in and force themselves on Carrion Street, change their way of life. We like the way we live on Carrion Street. But if that means living with your justice, if that means locking up innocent folks, if that means killing boys in the street, why are we having this fucking conversation? You killed a boy in the street.

Griffin: And I draw on him and say:

Errol: Sheriff Connors, you’re under arrest for the murder of Jeremiah Blackwell. Can we do thi—

Griffin: I turn to the—

Errol: Can we do this? Are we allowed to, like, arrest folks?

Gandy: Hell yeah!

Augustus: There’s no, I mean there’s no sheriff anymore, so I guess…

[Clint laughs]

Connors: Well, I sure was hoping this would go different.

[Theme music fades in]

Travis: And smoke starts curling from his nostrils. And his eyes start to go yellow, his skin goes purple and chitinous. And he grows about eight inches, and he reaches around and grabs his gun and knife.

{40:16-49:15 ad break}

Errol: Now, hold up a minute there Sparky.

[Clint laughs]

Travis: He cocks his gun. He points the gun at Gandy.

Justin: I’m going to roll to Mislead, Distract or Trick. Mainly, I’m gonna try to distract the— sorry, Connors, so he’ll look behind himself. And that’s— oh shit, nice! I rolled a nine, so I have zero in mind. So nine, and I can pick two: create an opportunity and confuse them for some time.

Travis: So describe to me what you are doing to do this. How are you distracting him?

Justin: I turn invisible, and I chuck something behind his head, so he looks behind himself just for a moment.

Travis: Okay.

Justin: Okay. And that— and when he turns— maybe I throw something off the desk, like the spectral cashews or something because they were material for a moment because I was material for a moment because I became invisible so they became physical and invisible.

Griffin: Now the ramifications of that are wild. That you ca— energy cannot be created or destroyed, and yet somehow Augustus Parsons can generate cashews from the ether.

Justin: Right.

Griffin: Like, we could use this to solve, like, the—

Clint: World hunger!

Griffin: The energy crisis, global hunger, it’s everything—

Justin: Yeah, it’s amazing. These amazing ghostly cashews. So while he’s distracted, and I’m now invisible, what you all see is Gandy’s glasses float off of her face and out the door.

[Clint laughs]

Griffin: Okay?

Travis: And Connors turns back, points his knife at you, Errol, the gun at Gandy, and I’m gonna say he fires at Gandy.

Clint: Okay.

Griffin: Can I take a bullet? Is that too— is that too much?

Travis: You can do whatever the fuck you want, son.

Griffin: Yeah, I definitely jump in the way of the bullet. Should I roll to like, actually attempt this feat, or?

Travis: Yeah, so give me a roll… what would it be? How would you define it?

Griffin: I mean I think probably, so there’s like an assistance move, a Lend a Hand, but that’s like to give them a bonus on a roll. There’s one called Keep Your Cool, which is just like doing something in a tense situation. I think it’s probably that.

Travis: Yeah, roll for that one.

Griffin: That is another six. vPlus one, seven. So “On a seven to nine— on a 10-plus, all’s well, on a seven to nine the MC will tell you what it’s going to cost you.”

Travis: Okay cool, so we’re gonna say that your move was trying to knock Gandy out of the way, and what you end up doing [Griffin: Okay.] is taking the bullet. So the gun is naturally two harm, and in demon form, Connors inflicts plus one harm, so it’d be three harm.

Griffin: Oh Jesus! Okay. I have two natural armor because I’m a— I’m a cool wolf, half-wolf man. So would that just be faint harm then? Mark that?

Travis: Yeah, you’re gonna have one harm, so yes. Light harm.

Griffin: Okay. But a hole in my cool jacket, and that is—

Travis: Hole in your cool jacket, and I will say you also, ‘cause you did like that sweet diving move, you are also like on the ground, you know?

Griffin: Sure, yeah.

Clint: Okay Gandy, she grabs up the derringers from the table, almost instinctually and fires. Now the derringers do one harm each, so two harm. Sev- eight.

Travis: Okay, and also in demon mode, Connors gets a plus one armor, so it’s going to be one harm for that. And because you have to get to the desk to grab the derringers, I’m gonna say that you are in range, so he takes a swipe at you with that dagger, and that would be two harm. Do you have any armor?

Clint: Uh… [nervous laughter] Well, would the shield still be in effect? Is this the same scene as before?

Travis: No, this is a different scene.

Clint: No, no armor.

Travis: Okay, then I’m gonna say you take a healthy cut across your bicep. It begins bleeding, and you kind of feel your arm getting cold and you find it kind of hard to work your right hand.

Griffin: So how do these boxes harm — this is the first like fight we’ve had in this arc — so if she takes two harm, that’s the faint box marked and then one of the grievous, which is like the next level of harm up, or two of the grievous.

Travis: Yes, I believe it’s one faint and one grievous.

Clint: So I’m halfway through grievous.

Travis: You’re halfway through General Grievous, yes.

Griffin: Can I do something real quick?

Travis: Yes.

Griffin: I roll onto my back from the, ‘cause I’m sort of laying on the floor after taking that bullet, and I lean upwards and I shoot the lock off of Dylan’s cage.

Travis: Okay. So, here’s the thing about werewolves. The closer you get to the full moon, the more powerful they are. And the higher moon is in the sky, the more powerful they are and the more— the easier it is for them to transform and to harness that power. So on the days before and after the full moon, it’s harder for them to channel it. And as especially closer to sunset or sunrise, the harder it is for them to channel it. The amount of energy, the amount of emotion that it takes to harness that full power at those times, it’s almost unheard of. So when the now hulking figure of Dylan Mathis cannonballs through his cell door, you get the impression he’s pretty goddamn pissed.

He charges at Connors, Connors goes to turn the gun on him, but before he can, Dylan grabs his hand and you hear a crunch. And you’re not sure if that’s Connors’ bones or the gun or what, but the two of them are kind of locked together there, and Dylan drives him up against the wall with his hand on Connors’ throat.

Connors buries that dagger into Dylan’s ribs, but whether through adrenaline or just sheer force of will, doesn’t seem to have much effect on Dylan. There’s a slight grimace, but he doesn’t let go of Connors’ throat. And he just stares Connors in his yellow eyes and says:

Dylan: You hurt Jeremiah!

Travis: And Connors is gasping.

Dylan: You took Jeremiah from me! You took Jeremiah from Ann!

Travis: And Connors, gasping, says:

Connors: Mercy, please!

Travis: And Dylan looks him square in the eye and says:

Dylan: No.

Travis: And with that, Dylan reaches down and pulls that dagger from his own ribs and buries in the heart of Sheriff Connors. So deep, in fact, that it digs into the wall behind him, pinning his lifeless body there.

Griffin: How does— how does Dylan look right now?

Travis: So as — now that his task is complete, the adrenaline is wearing off, he begins to revert back to human form — as though it is just now hitting him, his hand goes to his ribs and comes away coated in blood, and he stumbles back and falls to his knees. He’s in a bad way, but it’s not an immediate killing blow.

Griffin: Okay. As he’s transforming, I think like, wolf to wolf, I say:

Errol: No, Dylan, stay angry. You’re a lot— you’re gonna be able to survive that thing if you stay in your wolf form. If you transform back to human— Dylan—

[Dylan grunts]

Griffin: I kind of like, slap him and my claws kind of scratch him across the face a little bit. I’m trying to keep Dylan like fucking pissed off until we can like get him to a surgeon or whatever.

[Intermittent Dylan angry noises]

Errol: Yup, yup bud, that’s good. Think about— think about what you lost. Yup, you got your vengeance but there’s still lots of reasons to be pissed off in this world. Yup. Yuup. YUUUP.

Griffin: And I say:

Errol: Gandy, I’m gonna get him to a surgeon, I guess keep watch here and.. not clean up, because the sheriff is pinned to the wall and that’s a mess that’s probably more than one person's capable of handling. But I gotta save this boy.

Travis: And when you open the door, Errol, the— let’s say the noise has drawn attention. Light is breaking over the tops of the buildings, and you’ve garnered a bit of a crowd. Coming down the street is Deputy Rosa, who you see with a couple, who you assume from the way that they’re dressed and the fact that they are with her, are the Blackwells. And Deputy Rosa — when she sees Dylan covered in blood, Errol who has been shot, and hearing the noise and not seeing Connors — her pace quickens. And she runs into the sheriff’s office, and you hear a scream from inside, and she comes back out, gun drawn.

Rosa: What happened?! What is going on, what the fuck?!

Augustus: I believe I might be able to shed some light on that.

Travis: She turns, pointing her gun at you, Augustus, the new sound and appearance.

Augustus: That will do you no good. I am— first, allow me to reintroduce myself, just so you know, I am the spectral form of Augustus Parsons—

Errol: He is bleeding out, Augustus, if you could skip the intro this time!

Augustus: Fair enough. This is my associate’s associate, friend of a friend, associate of associate, Uncle Oni. And I believe Uncle Oni, I gave you the spectacles, could you inform Deputy Rosa of the situation we find ourselves in?

Uncle Oni: I— certainly can. Gandy? Would you like me to?

Gandy: Please do so Uncle Oni, I love it when you get a chance to show off! I love it!

Uncle Oni: Oh I’m so glad I could help, just the agreement from you?

Gandy: The second, yes. It’s the second one, yes.

Uncle Oni: No, this goes beyond question, it seems you very much need this. Are we in agreement?

Gandy: …Yes, Uncle Oni. Especially since I have something that you’re absolutely going to love.

Travis: Okay, but you are going to take a corruption point there, Gandy.

Clint: Okay.

Travis: And with that, Uncle Oni places the spectacles on his nose and closes his eyes and projected, we’ll say is a sheen, a circle of magic whereon projects the whole scene.

Griffin: Onto like, onto the side of the sheriff’s station?

Travis: Yeah.

[Clint laughs]

Griffin: This is— sorry, the symbolism of that is fucking tasty as hell.

Travis: And you hear Joseph Blackwell say:

Joseph: God bless it! This is, as you might imagine, a lot to process. The boy! Tommy!

Travis: And a man wearing similar Pince-nez, or however we agreed to pronounce it. But—

Clint: “Ponce-nay.”

Travis: “Ponce-nays,” tinted black with— he looks far too young to have hair a gray as he does, but he steps up.

Tommy: Yes?

Joseph: See to the boy, help— get him to the doc.

Travis: And I assume Errol, you go with? Or let’s say Abigail steps up and kind of ducks under the arm you’re kind of holding up—

Griffin: Yeah, I think I just give her a nod and hand her her son.

Travis: And Abigail and Tommy take him to the doctor. And Michael, seemingly out of nowhere, steps up to Errol, looks you in the eye and says:

Michael: The boy will live. Yes. You’ve done a good job, Mr. Ryehouse. I think that there’s a scene inside the office I should see to?

Errol: To be honest, I don’t care if his spirit goes into a fucking toilet, bud, but you do your job.

Michael: Yes, probably best if this one ends in cremation, don’t you think?

Errol: Yeah, burn it.

Travis: And Blackwell steps up:

Joseph: What?— You have to forgive me, it’s… quite a bit of information to process all at once. What the fuck is going on?

Travis: And Ann steps up.

Ann: I think I can clear a lot of this up, Mr. Blackwell. Jeremiah was killed tonight.

Travis: And you see Mrs. Blackwell just put her hand to her mouth, and suddenly Joseph can look nowhere other than the face of Ann Mathis.

Joseph: Ann, what happened?

Ann: Well, as I think you saw, Mr. Blackwell, he was the victim of… of a much larger conspiracy. You should also know Jeremiah and I were married. A few days ago…

Travis: Joseph looks her in the eye and asks one question.

Joseph: When… when my son died… was he happy?

Travis: And Ann smiles and says:

Ann: I... I think so.

Travis: And they hug.

Clint: Gandy walks over and sidles up next to Uncle Oni, and leans down and looks him in the eyes. She has a grin on her face, and she holds out the book of Amdefell and says:

Gandy: [Whispering] Uncle Oni! Look! A book that lets us directly talk to chaos demons! We are gonna get into some shit! [Giggles]

Uncle Oni: Oh yes!

Griffin: I go inside, and as Michael is preparing the body and preparing to take it away, I take the badge off his corpse and walk back outside. And say:

Errol: This is something that folks in this world rarely get a chance to actually say, but—

Griffin: And I flick it to Deputy Rosa, and I say:

Errol: There actually is a new sheriff in town.

Travis: And she just stares at it. It’s not a happy moment, and she seems in shock, but she doesn’t put it down. And let’s fast-forward just a few moments. Things have calmed down, Abigail has come back. Dylan’s on the mend, this isn’t the first time the doc has seen silver poisoning, and because of your quick thinking Errol in keeping that adrenaline flowing, it’s gonna be alright. And Abigail has told you that she’s wired the Grayson Agency, let ‘em know a job well done. Payment has been issued to the agency as well, plus a hefty bonus. And Joseph Blackwell approaches you.

Joseph: Um, I can’t— I can’t begin to thank you for a job well done. But I must commission a new job from you.

Errol: I mean, I’ll talk to my associates, are you all free? What’s the timetable looking like? We all got any big plans coming up?

Gandy: Are you sure he’s talking to all three of us?

Joseph: I think it will take all three of you. With my son, an heir, gone, I must ask you to journey to Crescent City and convince my daughter to come home.

[Theme music starts]

Travis: So far away, but not nearly as far as you might think, in the underbelly of Crescent City, we see a dark doorway. We see a figure, shrouded, step through that doorway and walk down a dark hallway. They enter a room, and that room appears to be empty. A table. A chair. A lantern. Lit, but revealing nothing. The figure draws back its shroud, and we recognize Isabella Slate. Isabella Slate says:

Isabella: You wanted to see me?

Travis: And a voice, seemingly from nowhere, familiar but not coming from a body we’ve heard, says:

Voice: Yes. Tell me what you were able to pull from the female wizard.

Travis: And unseen by human eyes, the Banshee smiles.

[Theme music (The Adventure Zone: Dust Theme by Griffin McElroy) picks up]

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