Balance – Episode 7: Moonlighting: Chapter One

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What will our heroes find on the moon? I hope it's not aliens, because I'm afraid of those. It's the Adventure Zone!

—The Announcer

"Moonlighting: Chapter One," as it appears on the MaximumFun website, is the seventh episode of The Adventure Zone, from the arc which would later be named Balance.

Synopsisedit | hide all | hide | edit source

Full transcript available here.

In this interlude chapter to the Adventure Zone saga, the mysteries of the universe are revealed to our heroes. Magnus has a good cry to some elevator music. Taako further unravels The Eldritch Riddle. It's about to get super weal up in here.

That's no moon...edit | hide | edit source

The gang emerges from the glass cannonball into the Bureau of Balance, into a hangar. Killian goes to get them authorized and, while she's gone, the gang makes friends with Avi, who gives them some brandy and asks them to hang out sometimes.

Killian brings them across the quad to an elevator shaft: the entrance to The Voidfish's chamber. In the elevator they meet Johann, the cynical bard.

Throughout all of this, the gang feels off-balance and a little woozy.

Initiationedit | hide | edit source

When they meet the Voidfish (though initially they can't quite make it out, because they hadn't yet drunk the ichor), Johann feeds it one of his original compositions, then offers them some of the Voidfish's ichor. Once they drink, he explains, they can't go back.

Magnus immediately does. The others aren't so sure, but eventually do, and suddenly see the Voidfish.

Sour Cream!!!edit | hide | edit source

When Taako enjoys the ichor of the Voidfish, he remembers one essential element of tacos. Just... watch this.

They also remember a great and terrible war, in which many of their friends died.

Magnus bows to the Jellyfish God, but Johann fills them in on the nature of the Voidfish.

As they are leaving the Voidfish's chambers, a monk sweeps by with Magic Brian's biography (character sheet) to be fed to the Voidfish.

New quest: Find the Directoredit | hide | edit source

Tune in next time!

[End of Episode]

The Money Zoneedit | hide | edit source

Sponsored by Crunchyroll.

Featured NPCsedit | hide | edit source

Featured Locationsedit | hide | edit source

Quotesedit | hide | edit source

Sour Cream[1]edit | hide | edit source

GRIFFIN: Taako, you harken back to a time where you were working on your grandpa's farm, and you were [...] the tender age of 65 years old. You were on Tinder, and you weren't paying attention to your farmly chores. You were beating some milk that you got out of a fantasy cow, you were whipping it, trying to form some sort of cream, and your grandpa, Tostada, walks out and says

TOSTADA: Taako, what are you doin'? You've been whipping that cream so long in the hot sun, it done turned sour.

GRIFFIN: That memory sticks out in your mind. It's very poignant, and you feel like perhaps the grand eldritch mystery has revealed a bit of itself to you once again.

CLINT: Cream that is sour, what shall we call it?

JUSTIN: I just say out loud, after I drink the--the first words out of my mouth after I drink the phial are,


GRIFFIN: You remember a war--a great and terrible war where a lot of your friends died, and the first words out of your mouth--

TRAVIS: And everyone in the room goes silent for a solid five minutes, just kind of shuffling their feet.

References and Footnotesedit | hide | edit source

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