Taako

Taako Taaco is a player character controlled by Justin McElroy. He is a high-elf wizard with a chaotic good alignment. He is an acolyte of Oghma, a god of wizardly shit, with a focus of Transmutation. Taako is a "simple idiot wizard", a kleptomaniac, and is allergic to peanuts.

He is originally from New Elfington. Prior to joining up with Merle Highchurch and Magnus Burnsides he hosted a traveling cooking show, 'Sizzle It Up with Taako' until he accidentally transformed his transmuted elderberries into deadly nightshade.

Powers and Abilities

 * Right-handed
 * Night vision
 * Advantage in saving throws vs. charm
 * Immunity to sleep spells
 * Minor alchemy (may slowly transmute wood, stone, iron, copper, and silver into any one of the others)

Spells

 * Mage Hand
 * Ray of Frost
 * Shield
 * Sleep
 * Dark Vision
 * Charm Person
 * Thunderwave
 * Levitate
 * Detect Magic
 * Magic Missile
 * Blink
 * Rope trick
 * Scorching Ray
 * Crown of Madness
 * Enlarge/Reduce
 * Phantom Horse
 * Cone of Cold
 * Otiluke's Resilient Sphere

Current

 * Umbra Staff - umbrella made by the Umbra Wizards, consumes the powers of the wizards you have defeated in combat
 * Cloak of the Manta Ray - +1 AC, enhances underwater mobility


 * Seven Habits of Highly Effective Elves - a record of his life so far


 * Uncle John's Elven Bathroom Reader - his spellbook
 * Pickaxe
 * Short sword
 * Enchanted feather duster
 * Bureau of Balance Bracer and Bracer Brush
 * Ring of Frost - A cobalt blue steel ring that makes beverages colder and makes the wearer resistant to frost damage
 * Unlimited Pasta Pass - entitles the bearer to unlimited pasta at Fantasy Olive Garden
 * Ring of Pointing - shoots a laser
 * Wand of Switcharoo - switch places with a target
 * Stone of Farspeech - allows walkie-talkie-like communication with other stones
 * Jenkins' wand (contained within the Umbra Staff)
 * The Port Wand
 * Maarvey's stun baton
 * Pocket Spa
 * Small bottle of Silverpoint poison

Former

 * GustMaster 5000 - A small, blue folding fan that produces a powerful wind (sold to Fantasy Costco)
 * Wand - Broken

Early Life
Taako has been on his own since he was 12 years old and on. He made his living with troops of performers and mercenaries, trying to find a place where he belonged. He didn't have any marketable skills, couldn't fight, fly, or crow. He learned to make himself useful by being a chef, a skill his aunt taught him, to pay his way with the traveling crews. He learned during his travels to avoid fights as an instinct because he couldn't defend himself.

He taught himself magic from books he picked up and from wizards he traveled around with. He used his magic skills as a way to elevate his cooking and to peak up audience attraction for his traveling cooking show, Sizzle It Up with Taako. He toured many different cities with his show, keeping his traveling tour spirit in mind, with his driver/roadie/stage manager/right hand man, Sazed. Sazed thought Taako "hung the moon" and learned how to cook during their travels together. As the show grew in popularity, Sazed asked to do more and more with the show, even asking to co-host the show and change the name to Sizzle It Up with Taako and Sazed. Taako shot him down due to merchandising issues and maintaining his brand.

Six years before Taako's adventure with Merle and Magnus begun, Sizzle It Up had entered Glamorsprings, a town that enjoyed the show before and had a turn out of 40 people. He prepared his famous 30 Garlic Clove Chicken for his audience that day. During the show he showboated his magical skills, transmutating things like salt into sugar, when he had a whole barrel of it, skinning chicken and then transmutating the chicken into chicken with skin on it. Unbeknownst to Taako, the chicken he had prepared has been poisoned and had killed everyone who had eaten it after his show. When the first person fell, Taako and Sazed ran. He assumed that the garnish of elderberries he has used on the chicken had been unwittingly transmuted into deadly nightshade and he didn't noticed due to the similarities of the berries. The two of them drove for two days before looking back and Sazed abandoned him as soon as he had the opportunity.

When going through his past memories with June, he encounters a lot of static in his memories. Aside from his cooking transmutation, Taako had only just learned enough magic to be dangerous before starting his adventures with Magnus and Merle.

The Eleventh Hour
Taako learned looking back through his memories with June that the poisoning that happened in Glamorsprings was not his fault in transmutating berries, but was a betrayal by Sazed, who had used arsenic in some of the food Taako was preparing.

Trivia:

 * Due to a magical accident with his first spell, everything he drinks turns into key-lime Go-Gurt.
 * Taako was once killed by Magic Brian during a magical wizard duel in Wave Echo Cave.
 * In The "The Adventure Zone" Zone, Justin stated that Taako is gay. The reason that it has not been directly addressed in canon is because Griffin pointed out that his high-pitched, effeminate voice could be construed as a harmful stereotype. Justin has reconfirmed this on Twitter.
 * While living in the dorms, Taako took the top bunk (above Magnus). Although he wears footie pajamas, Taako also sleeps in a sleeping sack due to his night terrors.
 * Prior to their adventure in Goldcliff, Taako had never been in a garage before.
 * The animal that most characterizes his state of being is a mongoose.
 * His favorite candy is Ferrero Rocher.
 * Taako avoids cooking for people he cares about because he is afraid of poisoning them, which he revealed to Angus in a Lunar Interlude.
 * Taako has died eight times without crossing to the astral plane, according to  Kravitz.

Items Taako has stolen:
 * Gold and Silver pieces (taken from a dead gerblin) - ended up splitting them with the rest of the party
 * Sack full of Golden Teeth (stolen from Yeemick's corpse, another gerblin)
 * Magic Boots of Striding and Springing (stolen from Thardin's corpse) - Given to Magnus
 * 320 Gold (stolen from a lock box)
 * Enchanted feather duster (stolen from Killian)
 * Bag of coins (stolen from Davenport)
 * Golden tiara (stolen from empty train car) - sold to Fantasy Costco
 * Silver serving set (originally belonging to Angus, stolen from empty train car) - gave 3 forks back to Angus, sold to Fantasy Costco
 * Briefcase (stolen from empty train car)
 * Stun baton (stolen from unconscious goblin ruffian)

Known Components of Tacos
Taako is on a noble quest to find a perfect alternative to a sandwich in all of its cheesy goodness.

References and Footnotes

 * [1] This was retconned in by Justin, previously being Taako transmuted oregano into poison.