Ep. 31: The Crystal Kingdom - Chapter Three

"Hell yes he is [sticking it to the people who say he's not allowed to have elevators in this game] - elevators are sweet! Anyone who says differently can take a hike... to the Adventure Zone!"

Synopsis
Having survived an encounter with their deadliest foe yet, our heroes take a moment to reflect on some of Faerun's most prodigious scientific achievements. Later, the trio is forced into a deadly test of intellect, and you can probably guess how well that goes. Merle does some pest control. Magnus makes a token of friendship. Taako enjoys some "Taako time."

Money Zone
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Featured NPCs

 * Lucas Miller
 * Hodgepodge
 * Angus McDonald

Featured Locations

 * Lucas' Lab

Music

 * The Elevator of Tomorrow
 * Oh Hey, It's Hodge Podge!

Downzo, "The Pit"
"JUSTIN: Are we to intuit from the name Upsy and the nomenclature of like, lifting machines, that like maybe they mastered getting people up first and didn’t have a plan for getting you back down?""GRIFFIN: It’s funny you mention that--actually right next to Upsy the Rad Lifting Dude was his arch-nemesis in the cartoon, and his name was Downzo."

Elevatorphobia
"TAAKO: Listen--Taako, that’s me, hi. I’m done with elevators. Never again. Last time I was in an elevator, vines tried to eat my dick. I’m never getting in an elevator again, suck it.""LUCAS: Listen, don’t say something you’re gonna regret.""TAAKO: Not in a million bajillion years.""TRAVIS: I pick Taako up and I walk into the elevator.""TAAKO: What--why--I don’t think I even need to do this, this is unimportant.""MAGNUS: Come on, buddy.""TAAKO: Don’t do it, I swear to god. You will not like how this ends. I will burn a spell slot on you, I give no shits."

Honey, I Shrank the Characters
"JUSTIN: Taako jumps outta the pocket tent and says, “Do you see. Do you see!” and he’s running around with his hands in the air like Jordan after he won his many basketball championships. “Don’t look so stupid now, do I, you tiny bitches!”""TRAVIS: Back inside the elevator… *continues humming The Girl from Ipanema*""TAAKO: I could eat you!"

After casting a golf shoe-weapon:
"CLINT: You know, like in golfing.""GRIFFIN: Okay, I don’t know, but fine.""CLINT: Well, you’re not a golfer like me.""GRIFFIN: Fair. A lie, but fair."