Ep. 45: The Eleventh Hour - Chapter Five

"I hope our boys have a very big salt shaker!! I don't actually know if salt kills worms! It's hard to think of things to say sometimes! The Adventure Zone!"

Synopsis
''Now that Refuge's destroyer has been revealed, our heroes work together to discover a way to stop it. But how many more attempts will they get at solving this, their most deadly mystery yet? Merle leads the group in prayer. Magnus plays hardball. Taako gets on his diamond grind.''

Oopsadoodle — the gang is dead again. They’re back in the white space with the old woman, who looks exhausted, but a little pleased. She says, “You’re getting very close!” and the dudes are back at the Refuge town gate, and we enter…

LOOP 10
For the first time at the beginning of a loop, they jump through the Roswell Exchange. The boys discuss what to do, and the answer is: diamonds. They brainstorm places to find or steal diamonds, before Justin/Taako decides to get a part time job.

They decide to split the party: Taako is going to visit Ren, and Magnus is going to find Sheriff Isaac.

Help Yourself, Cast Yourself Into Magic Legend, the Taako Taaco Story
Taako moseys up to The Davy Lamp early enough to see the two purple kerchief’d ruffians. They’re talking shit about the Bubble, and Griffin describes it as “kind of like that scene from Hamilton, The Story of Tonight, but if everyone were just, like, dicks.”

In The Davy Lamp, Ren again recognizes Taako, and this time Taako remembers her (from last loop… while also pretending to remember her from the show in the Underdark). Ren blasts the purple kerchiefed rowdy boys with her rod and she blows the rod smoke off the rod.

Taako pitches her something: he wants to share what he knows with the people of the world and spread the joy of magicking. He calls her rod use “just a touch sloppy,” and tells her that he’s holding seminars. They’re called Help Yourself, Cast Yourself Into Magic Legend, and he needs payment upfront. He charges her 1 (later retconned to 2) diamond.

Ash, the gambling poncho elf, also wants in on this magic business. Ash knows “quite a bit” of magic going in, so the rate is a little bit different. Taako charges Ash 9 diamonds. After the seminar, Taako promises, they get half of that back. What a deal! Everyone has to promise to be there tomorrow morning because of dawn’s light.

Quarry Story — Merle and Magnus
Merle and Magnus agree to wander on over to the Elder’s Manor. It’s a secure location with a barbed wire fence surrounding it. There are a bunch of padlocks on the door. Travis’s keen DND senses are telling him not to go into the manor yet, so Sheriff Isaak must be elsewhere. Griffin asks them to roll perception: Travis rolls a 1. Magnus investigates: crit. He learns that it has been a really long time since anyone’s been in the manor.

Instead, the boys decide to investigate the Sheriff’s Office, where the plan is to “grill the shit out of Cassidy.”

Magnus tries to grill Cassidy about the quarry, and she is recalcitrant, until, that is, Merle casts Zone of Truth. Cassidy tells her Quarry Story. After the main diamond seam dried up, she and a small team headed down to the quarry to try and find more diamonds to reinvigorate Refuge and make sure they all had fat stacks when the bubble came down. But the team dug too deep, and they found something down by where the edge of the bubble was: a big nest with a nasty worm.

The nest looked like it had been cut in half by the bubble. The mom- the big nasty worm woke up and tried to attack her friends, but something happened to it where it kind of got stuck. And then Cassidy hit her head on a big rock and woke up in jail. While down there, she saw a shadow of a man with her hands up.

Cassidy is in jail because she is accused of blowing up the Temple, which is ridiculous, she says. It’s probably institutional orc racism, but also maybe because she's the best at blowing stuff up.

Prophecy Time!
Taako goes to Paloma. Strangely, she recognizes him, and offers to skip niceties. Taako treats himself to a small prophecy, a big prophecy, and a scone.

Big prophecy: Taako sees something like a movie being shot in first-person. What he sees are train tracks, with a light cast down on them, and they’re flying toward him. There is a two a junction, and the cart stops. Paloma leans right in, grabs his face, and says “''Turn! Right!''” in her creepy prophecy voice.

As she’s apologizing for getting “a little agro” with that prophecy, a second big prophecy unspools itself from the ceiling. It’s different: most of the crystals have a nice light inside, but this one is pitch black, save for some strands of bright red, yellow, and green flashing around on the inside. Paloma looks up and says, “Oh my god, what?”

Big prophecy, reloaded: Taako sees two visions side-by-side in this black cloud: the left one looks like an ocean made of bubbling tar with a black sky above it, with some stuff moving around beneath the surface of the tar. On the right is just a gray world covered in ash that is completely barren and lifeless.

Paloma seems like “A Baker Possessed,” whereas before she’s just been a little out of it. Her prophecy, read out in her spooky prophecy voice: Small prophecy: ''You are close to your goal, but you are missing what you need to break the barrier. You will need divine intervention. You will find it at the Temple of Istus''.
 * In the future, you will be offered a terrible choice between two options that will determine the fate of reality itself. In this moment of crisis, remember: There is always a third option.

[paused for bed at Money Zone, pick up again at 41:10]

END OF EPISODE!

Featured NPCs

 * Roswell
 * Ren
 * Ash
 * Cassidy
 * Paloma

Featured Music
Into the Quarry

Paloma

Jock Jams (on the piano)

Featured Locations

 * Refuge


 * Woven Gulch

Get a job, ya dang hippie

 * 3:25 JUSTIN: I was kind of hoping that we would have found a diamond by now. Because we need at least a little more guidance. We definitely know what’s destroying the town, but we don’t have the faintest clue what to do about it.
 * 3:34 TRAVIS: I had the inclination to go try to talk to Isaac finally [more about talking to Isaac]
 * 3:37 GRIFFIN: I will say this re: diamonds: they are the currency in this town. So you don’t have to find them in a mine, in the same way that you don’t go to the U.S. Treasury to get dollar bills from the printing press.
 * 4:00 JUSTIN: You want to get a fuckin’ part time job? What do you want?
 * 4:06 CLINT: [laughs]
 * 4:07 GRIFFIN: I wouldn’t hate that.
 * 4:10 JUSTIN: Okay, I’m going to get a part time job.

What’s the exchange rate like?

 * 10:26 REN: I would pay anything, how much is it? Are you kidding me?
 * 10:29 TAAKO: How much-? This is a weird question, but how much is a diamond? How many is that? Is that… good?

Legalese

 * 13:33 TAAKO: I do just have to say, my lawyers — this is funny, it’s going to sound like a joke, but — my lawyers have told me to say that if there isn’t a tomorrow, this is null and void. But! Of course there will be a tomorrow, right??
 * 13:46 REN: Yeah, that’s a weird thing to even… to even bring up.
 * 13:48 TAAKO: For sure, for sure. Listen, everybody start working on your magics and I’ll see you bright and early, let’s meet up here! Tomorrow!

Happy Dance

 * 18:40 JUSTIN: They probably pass me on the way, and I’m like, juggling diamonds and like shaking my butt at them. Like, I’m done.

Cassidy is in the ZONE OF TRUTH

 * 20:54 CASSIDY: Okay, I feel compelled to now tell you my story. My Quarry-Story is what I call it. I don’t call it that, I’ve never told my Quarry Story, why would I-
 * 21:00 MAGNUS: Okay, can you just-
 * 21:00 CASSIDY: Why would I need a catchy name for the Quarry Story?
 * 21:05 MAGNUS: Okay, just… go ahead and do that, please.

Bork??

 * 24:53 CLINT: Is that the Bork voice?
 * 24:55 GRIFFIN: Uh, yes, so you come inside, and there’s Paloma…
 * 24:57 TRAVIS: Wait, hold on. You know her name’s not Bork, right?
 * 25:01 GRIFFIN: What?
 * 25:03 CLINT: Is it Ba-jork?
 * 25:04 GRIFFIN: Okay, see, I just agreed to what dad said without really processing what it was that he said, and what he said was the name Bjork as Bork.
 * 25:12 CLINT: Yeah. You gotta watch that shit, Griffin.
 * 25:14 GRIFFIN: I was almost an accomplice in that heinous act.

Taako doesn’t “nibble”

 * 27:32 GRIFFIN: So as you sit down and are nibbling away at this scone…
 * 27:33 JUSTIN: I am not nibbling away. Near as I can tell this is the first time I’ve eaten in two years. There is no nibbling to be done. Travis got to eat a magic stone, I think once, and that’s it.
 * 27:45 TRAVIS: No, yeah, and I’m all full up for the next two years.