Story 2: Murder on the Rockport Limited

Murder on the Rockport Limited is the second story arc of The Balance Arc. It follows the Tres Horny Boys on a simple retrieval mission that quickly turns into a murder mystery.

Summary
A relic has been discovered by the reclaimer Leeman Kessler, who is unfortunately murdered in the town of Rockport after loading his precious cargo onto a train, the Rockport Limited, en route to Neverwinter. You are assigned the job of impersonating Leeman[sic] and seeing the train to its destination at which point you'll be able to retrieve the relic from storage.

After a brief detour in a leech-filled swamp outside of Rockport, you make your way into this town of industry which is apparently home to hundreds of people who look like beloved radio personality Tom Bodett. You board the train after learning its security measures. The relic is in the cryptsafe, in the last car in the train, which cannot be opened without an hour of prolonged contact from an employee of the train.

You're introduced to your fellow passengers on the journey including Hudson, the engineer who stays locked in his engine car; Jenkins, the magical attendant who operates the pleasure chambers (a kind of teleportation magic that can take you to any enclosed room as long as he keeps the door open); Jess the Beheader, a prize fighter and all around badass; Graham the Hedge Wizard, who didn't end up having that many interesting traits (he was Juicy); and Angus McDonald, precocious boy detective.

After meeting them, you're investigated by Angus who explains he's on the train in pursuit of a serial killer in Rockport who seems to be capable of tracking down objects of great wealth and collecting them from their deceased owners. After revealing this, you hear a scream and find a beheaded and behanded Jenkins between cars. Some sort of fiery crab monster destroys the crime scene before you're able to do much CSI work on it.

You work through a convoluted mystery to discover the truth - the body was not Jenkins's, but the engineer Hudson's, who was spliced between portals by Jenkins's teleportation magic. Magnus does a daring maneuver outside the train and fights Jenkins. You throw him off the back of the train seemingly to his doom. You recover the Grand Relic which is the Oculus, which allows you to turn illusory images real, and with some quick thinking from Taako, you prevent the Rockport Limited from running into Neverwinter, saving Graham, Jess, and Angus in the process. The Oculus is recovered and destroyed.

- Griffin's summary from The "The Adventure Zone" Zone, transcribed by Reddit user MooseEatsBear.

Characters

 * Tom Bodett
 * Jess the Beheader
 * Leeman Kessler
 * Hudson
 * Graham the Hedge (Juicy) Wizard
 * Angus McDonald

Locations

 * Rockport
 * The Rockport Limited
 * Bureau of Balance

Deaths

 * 3 leeches
 * Hudson
 * 2 "meat bags" grown from Hudson's hands by Jenkins
 * Jenkins

Loot

 * Angus's grandfather's silverware (minus 3 forks)
 * Everything else of value that was stored in the vault car

Long-Term Significance

 * Meeting Angus McDonald, a long-term ally.
 * Taako carries a Grand Relic without apparent ill effect.