Ep. 46: The Eleventh Hour - Chapter Six

"You're about to see these boys on their baddest behavior. Lend them some sugar! They are your neighbor. It's The Adventure Zone!"

Synopsis
''If our boys want to get out of this time-locked quagmire, they're going to need some divine intervention -- and the only way to get this particular god to play ball is to get up to no good. Let's hope that big wheel doesn't stop turning on this rotation, yeah?''

The Boys Are Back In Town
Refuge, that is!

Welcome to Loop 11, where we’re back in front of Refuge. The gang decides to head over to Stone Fruit Farm to meet Luca’s brother, and loops through the getting-past-Roswell bit. As they go, Magnus decides to check out the well.

Taako rolls a GREAT perception check and sees, from behind the well, a guy’s shadow, staring at them over the well. It vanishes almost as soon as Taako sees him. It’s strange because they’ve never seen him in any previous loop.

Magnus drops a rock down the well and listens for it to hit… it hits something and sounds like a “bwom,” but it’s too dark to see. Magnus has a theory: the well is right above the mine.

To get to the farm faster, Magnus borrows Roswell’s horse, which is fine — they’re too big to ride it anyway, they say — and pulls Merle up behind him. Taako casts Fantom Steed, summoning Garyl.

The gang goes to Stone Fruit Farm, where there are some really nice stone fruit orchards. Except they’ve been vivisected by the bubble, and the fields are being worked by some folks in purple neckerchiefs — a magical elf and a human woman. Magnus, imbued with Rustic Hospitality, goes up to talk to them. He gets immediately attacked. Thanks to the Fletcher’s Mitt, everything is fine. Magnus asks to talk to Redmond.

The ruffians ask if Roswell sent the three (+Garyl) to stop them, and Magnus assures them that, no, they even stole a horse from Roswell! Taako and Merle are content to sit and listen as Magnus takes the lead with the shifty folks. Magnus abandons his weapons and goes to talk to Redmond.

From behind, the two drunken ruffians who got kicked out of the Davy Lamp at 11:10 come up and see Taako and Merle. It’s time to roll initiative! Everyone rolls a 15.

It’s Time for Dope Rodeo Shit! Or… Rodeo Clown Shit?
Merle stays on Roswell’s horse (Magnus has named it Horsey) in anticipation of being able to do some dope rodeo shit. He’s very excited about it. Taako, as the person with the highest DEX, goes first, casting Otiluke's Resilient Sphere. The magic dude just starts floating around a little bit in a soap bubble, and he looks a little scared.

Next is Magnus, who is disarmed. He uses his cunning action to use Dash, so he can run for his weapons… except, before he goes, he decides to Phantom Fist the woman walking next to him. She gets shoved right into the front door. Magnus grabs his weapons and rushes toward the door.

Merle charges one of the drunks with Horsey. He does the really cool move where he hangs off the side of the saddle and uses the Spanner to clobber the dude. Unfortunately he rolls a four, and while missing the ruffian, needs to make a dexterity saving throw. Which was a seven. He definitely falls off that horse, hanging off the bottom of the horse and banging his head on a tree trunk on the way down. Horsey goes running off into town.

One ruffian bangs on the door to call Redmond. The two drunk ruffians decide to wale on Merle. They have a big old hammer and bring it right down on Merle’s tummy for 29 damage.

The door of the house opens up and they see Redmond! He’s a dude who both commands respect and is very jolly. He tells everyone to calm down and drop their weapons, and they do (even bubble boy, whose staff floats around with him in the bubble). Everyone goes inside to the cozy house, somewhat begrudgingly on the part of the drunken ruffians.

Redmond: seems like a chill dude for a religiously motivated bank robber/gang leader
His house is cozy, even if it is bisected by a bubble. When the gang lays out why they’re there (Luca said he and Redmond could get Istus’s aid during the last loop), Redmond says it’s worth a shot. Like Luca and Paloma, Redmond knows times is all messed up, but warns that Istus doesn’t usually get involved directly with normal folks.

Taako mentions that they’ve got a party member who is very strong of faith and literally has a hand of god. Merle offers to convert to Istusism, but his wood hand pinkie falls off, withered and dead. “Or…” Merle says, “I could stay with Pan!” and the finger grows back (but it’s a little bit smaller than it just was).

Redmond needs help in return. He and the Liberation Brigade (the purple neckerchief’d ruffians) are looking to get out of town. His gut (informed by his experience with the whims of fate) is telling him that the way out of town is in the bank vault. In return, he asks the THB for help. Magnus makes a persuasion roll, and it is unsuccessful. They’re gonna go rob a bank!
 * REDMOND: You help me get in that vault and me and Luca, we’ll try to raise the temple up for you.
 * MAGNUS: Let’s reverse that, and I think we’ve got a plan.
 * REDMOND: Listen, unfortunately, things are, hm, the plan’s already underway. We actually need to get going basically right now.
 * MAGNUS: I’m gonna shoot straight with you here, Redmond: we’re in a bit of a loop, about an hour, and, midway through — we’ve done this a couple of times — you robbing that bank, everything’s gonna go to shit.

[paused at Money Zone for bed]

Sheriff Isaak's diary
The following is a transcript provided by Daisy (@lieutenanthurley) and TAZ Transcribed.

My daddy was a safety inspector for mines operating all throughout the northern counties of the Sword Coast, and, as you might imagine, that made for a very cautious upbringing for myself and my kin.

Every bit of wisdom my old man passed on to me dealt with how to avoid the dangers of the world outside our cottage’s doors, how to evade bandits and ward off hungry beasts in the wilds and how to prevent accidental hazards in the home, stuff like that, but nothing prepared me for today.

Nothing prepared me for that fucking cup.

From the moment I saw it, I knew there was nothing I wouldn’t do to get that cup, I just didn’t know why. I trusted myself to resist that temptation, to put it back toward the back of my mind, to focus on the hard work of bringing this diamond mine back to life, and today I faltered- just for a moment- and I ruined three lives in the process.

I killed Jack.

That’s my first time thinking that thought, not protecting myself from the awful truth of what I’ve done. We were looking for June in the mines together- she’s want to get lost in the mines- and I could just tell he had it on him. That cup had a tight grip on my guts, I could feel it through a six foot thick lead wall, and I did it as quickly as I could, as cowardly as I could, I pushed him, over the edge of Shaft B.

And he fell. As he fell he turned to face me, and he shouted his last word. It was a spell, that he flung in my direction, and in that moment, just after dooming him- I prayed it was some kind of killing curse.

But he missed. It flew over my head as he sank into the black below. And when I looked behind me, I saw my prize, the cup I had killed my very best friend for, in June’s hands.

She grabbed it right where he dropped it. Only by perfect irony, she was frozen in place, right there, by a barrier that I just cannot penetrate, shielded by a power that I craved enough to kill for.

There’s nothing I can do to get her out of that state, I tried it all. And there’s nothing I can do for Refuge, now that she’s trapped us all in here too.

I deserve damnnation for what I’ve done. Refuge doesn’t.

****

I figured out what that spell was. Jack’s last spell. He conjured an earth elemental, a guardian to protect June, protect all of Refuge in his absence. I met it, just on the outskirts of town.

Refuge deserves a better guardian than myself, that’s for sure. So, I equipped them with some gear, gave them a name- Roswell, for my dad- and set them on patrol, using the summoning spell’s command word.

And that word might be the hardest thing to stomach. It was Jack’s dying wish, his hopes for a safer life for his daughter and his home, manifest into a single word, his final word, his final thought.

Junebug.

END OF EPISODE!

The Money Zone
Blue Apron

Nature Box

For Shannon Dapper from Killian: I wanted to be the first at the Bureau of Balance to wish you a happy birthday. I think you're incredible. You're strong, smart, funny, and have great taste in characters. I hope you have a great year, and when it's hard, remember, I got your back. BTW, Taako made you some fried chicken macarons. I hope you get them, but fantasy post can be screwy, so he might owe you one.

The first Adventure Zone wedding proposal! (Timestamp: 37:50)
The results ... He said 'yes'!!!

Featured NPCs

 * Roswell
 * Garyl

Featured Music
Into the Quarry

Featured Locations

 * Refuge


 * Woven Gulch

Taako’s good out here

 * 13:50 RUFFIAN ELF: Did Roswell send you? Are you here to stop us?
 * 13:55 MAGNUS: No! We stole this horse from them. We’re not with them at all!
 * 13:58 GRIFFIN: Merle, Taako, what are you guys doing?
 * 14:00 MERLE: I’m watching this delightful exchange!
 * 14:01 TAAKO: Yeah, I feel no need to hop in here. I’m good.

Skeediddly bop

 * 18:36 JUSTIN: Yeah, I’m going to cast, on the magical one, Otiluke's Resilient Sphere.
 * 18:39 GRIFFIN: You’re just… you’re just making shit- you’re just scatmanning over there, making shit up.
 * 18:44 CLINT: Let me see the card. Let me see the card.
 * 18:45 JUSTIN: It’s Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere.
 * 18:48 CLINT: Oh! No he’s not!

The Muppets Take Refuge

 * 33:49 REDMOND: So, you help me rob this bank. It’ll take five minutes! I know you’re in a hurry. It’s a fool-proof plan. It’s gonna go great. What do you say?
 * 33:55 TAAKO: Hell yeah!
 * 33:56 MERLE: It’s a caper!
 * 33:59 MAGNUS: Yeah, fuck it. What’s the plan?