Ep. 3: Here There Be Gerblins - Chapter Three

"Once again, the yawning portal opens before you. Abandon all hope, ye who enter the Adventure Zone!"

Synopsis
''With one half of their former employers effectively rescued, our party begins the hunt for Gundren Rockseeker in earnest. There are just a few things standing in their way: They don't know where he is, they're all Level Clown-Shoes, and also, a jelly monster.''

Taako, Magnus, Merle, and Barry Bluejeans make their way out of the Cargmaw Hideout and back to their cart and Ruby. Behind them they hear a, "Wait, WHAT? Aw, shit!" that sounds suspiciously like a bugbear waking up from a Charm Person spell. Taako talks briefly to Barry, asking him what happened. "A lot of shit," he replies, insisting how terrible it was and that he wouldn't want to do it again.

Barry asks them what they know, and Magnus tells them that they found the map. (GRIFFIN: Did you?  TRAVIS: No, I'm lying.)  Barry starts from the beginning -- Gundren and his two brothers Thardin and Nundro (cousins of Merle) have a claim to the lost mine of Phandalin, and managed to find out where it is.

Barry is confidant that he can track Gundran down, but he wants to go back to Phandalin and rest. (BARRY: I've partied pretty hard before in my life, I'm gonna need to sleep this one off). Taako and Magnus agree, though Merle makes the podcast "Passive Aggressive Dungeons and Dragons" for a minute.

The four of them reach Phandalin and head into the inn. Barry is very set on finding Gundran, so his reputation isn't ruined by Gundran's kidnapping. He reveals that the other map is a fake, and that the real map was inside Gundran all along... in his blood. (But, he specifies, it was not love the whole time). He looks for the vial of Gundran's blood that he had, but he can't find it. Merle offers his own blood, as he's related to Barry and it might work.

Merle pricks his finger and manages to somehow find a vein in his finger. His blood automagically draws itself into a map. Barry, ever impatient, wants more blood. Merle, ever protective of his blood, ignores him. The map points to the Sword Mountains and Wave Echo Cave.

Head out on the highway!
They get to Wave Echo Cave, which sounds like it has waves flowing. It's really echo-y.

The Money Zone
None.

Featured NPCs

 * Barry Bluejeans
 * Klarg
 * Ruby

Featured Locations

 * Phandalin
 * Sword Mountains foothills
 * Wave Echo Cave

It was a hot night in Grenada...

 * TAAKO: Barry, what the hell happened?
 * BARRY BLUEJEANS: A lot of shit. And it was all really terrible, and if you gave me the option, I would not do it again.
 * CLINT: Why do I imagine that Bill Hader character where they all made their own puppets and they were all talking to the puppets -
 * GRIFFIN: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
 * CLINT: I didn’t think so, sorry, it’s on Saturday Night Live.  I would like to - can we -
 * GRIFFIN: That show hasn’t been invented yet.
 * CLINT: Oh. Or, has it already happened?
 * GRIFFIN: Oh shit, future - future fantasy.

Barry has decent work-life balance

 * TAAKO: Do you want to come with us, Barry?
 * BARRY: I...really need to rest. I uh -


 * TAAKO: Barry, it would look bad, if you, let your charge... if you didn’t rescue them. I mean what would -


 * BARRY: It would look SUPER bad if I just, like, died. It would be equally bad.