Ep. 39: The Crystal Kingdom - Chapter Eleven

"But wait, they already killed the big skeleton thing! What else could be left in this arc--two skeletons? It's The Adventure Zone!"

Synopsis
''After a climactic victory, our heroes have a few loose ends to tie up before moving on to their next adventure. Will Lucas and Maureen get Regulated? Will Kravitz claim his undead bounty? More importantly, how are they going to get that big, magic rock out of Magnus' tummy? Merle does prank medicine. Magnus tells a fib. Taako just twerks it out.''

The Tres Horny Boys have just finished having a climatic final battle with Legion, a giant skeleton made up of souls. Magnus is still trapped under the weight of the sapphire mirror, and NO-3113 and Carey Fangbattle do a high-five for the sick stunts they did during the fight. Suddenly, The Director's voice comes through the boys' and Carey's Stones of Farspeech, and she asks them if the Philosopher's Stone has been secured. Magnus explains to the Director that the Stone is safe inside his tummy, and that, no, he has no good reason as to why he swallowed a Grand Relic. The Director tells them that she's glad that they managed to survive this ordeal and accomplish their mission, and asks if Lucas has been detained. Magnus decides to cover for Lucas by telling her that he was killed by a giant, silver skeleton, a story he'll tell her about later.Magnus reveals to Lucretia that Lucas wasn't just tampering with the Philosopher's Stone, and that he was also messing with the laws of nature. The Director is obviously shocked by this news, and Taako chimes in to ask if they can bring a "super cool" robot, referring to NO-3113, they found back to the base with them. She okays their decision and tells them to finish what they need to finish. Meanwhile, Maureen is attempting to tend to Lucas's wounds, and she turns and asks if any of them have any medical training.Magnus calls Maureen over to him while Merle heals Lucas. He clarifies that the only reason he bailed out Lucas was because he promised Maureen that he would protect him, and that if sees them again, he won't be as merciful. Maureen tries to explain her actions by saying that she didn't know that Legion would leave with her when she escaped the Eternal Stockade, but Magnus interrupts her and says that he "don’t give two shits." As this sidebar is happening, Taako goes over to Merle to have another sidebar. He expresses to Merle his confusion as to why Magnus would help Lucas, seeing as he was clearly pissed at him earlier. Merle reassures that Taako that he's "just that kinda guy."Lucas runs up to Magnus and Maureen after regaining consciousness, and he admits to having absolutely no regrets for the action he took to save his mother. A rift opens up in the room, and a small white light comes out and lowers itself into one of the trashed robots. The robot stands up and introduces itself as Kravitz. After praising Merle for banishing Legion, he once again conjures up his book, and tells the boys he's willing to make a deal. Since the boys saved his bacon and, by extension, his career, and seeing as the boys never escaped the Astral Plane, because they never visited it in the first place, he will call off their bounty. Kravitz also calls off the bounty on Lucas, figuring that his necromancy days are far behind him. However, NO-3113 and Maureen are both ghosts and must be taken back to Astral Plane. Magnus interjects that both were integral in defeating Legion, but, unfortunately, Kravitz cannot allow exceptions. Slippery Slope and all that. The boys start negotiating with Kravitz, and, eventually, he suggests they settle it by playing a game of their choosing. Magnus choose a simple high card draw. WIP

Money Zone
Personal message for Kira, from Kira's mom: Happy thirteenth birthday to the most brilliant, gorgeous, talented, snarky geekling and junior delicate flower a mother geek could ever hope to spawn. I love that we can enjoy so many fandoms and shows together, including The Adventure Zone. Remember, when all else fails, “Accio giant piece of plywood.”  Love you bunches.

Personal message for Steven the Crazybot, from Garrett the Night-shift Knight: Hey homie, happy birthday! Man, we've been on so many crazy-ass adventures, huh? Let's hope sometime this year we can actually try playing D&D ourselves, and if not, more Adventure Zone adventures to adventure the adventure.

Personal message for Caverin White, a Templar, from Northern, a Dungeonmaster: Tristan, Synthetic, as you move into this next season of your life with the wonderful partner you found, I want to congratulate you and wish you the best. May you two grow deeper and greater together. If you change your mind, we can still live the dream we once held, so meet me with Vixie at the OPH off Bass Lake on Sunday.

Personal message for The Dread Pirate Ian, from Katie: To my dashing rogue: I can't believe it's been four years since we had that epic sword-fight and then got married. What a crazy day! Since then, it's been nothing but adventure and quoting Magic Brian, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're the Elan to my Hailey, the Merle to my vines, and I'm settling this once and for all: I love you more.

Featured NPCs

 * Kravitz
 * Maureen Miller
 * Lucas Miller

Featured Locations
Lucas's Lab

Music

 * A Candlenights Miracle!
 * Madam Director
 * See You Later