Battle Wagon Racing

Goldcliff’s major pastime is Battle Wagon Racing. Though it is technically illegal, the Goldcliff Militia generally turns a blind eye to the practice (and even sometimes get involved in the action themselves. Ahem, Hurley).

Culture
Everyone loves Battle Wagon Racing in Goldcliff. Even those in power tasked with keeping the peace and running the city can’t live without the races, so they are allowed to continue, largely unchecked. Battle Wagon Racing can be a brutal blood sport “from time to time.” Some racers “run clean,” which means that the racers attempt to disable wagons without harming or killing the other racers.

People are able to watch remotely through enormous black pillars lining the course. Because it’s still illegal, drivers wear masks to disguise their identities and keep some modicum of secrecy about their involvement with the race. By and large these masks are animals, and reflect something about the drivers’ strategies or personality.

Known aliases:

 * The Raven: Sloan
 * The Ram: Hurley
 * The Owl: Merle
 * The Bear: Magnus
 * The Mongoose: Taako

Course
The Battle Wagon racetrack is about a six mile long course that starts way deep out in the wasteland outside of Goldcliff and ends right by the western cliff of Goldcliff. The course ends pretty much on the cliff, meaning that racers must break immediately after crossing the finish line to avoid “pulling a Barbara,” which is to say, tumbling off the cliff.

Rules
To win, a battle wagon must be the first to cross the finish line or be the last surviving (operational) battle wagon by the end of the race.

Anything goes on the racetrack: from boarding other vehicles to disabling drivers to injuring or even killling members of other teams.

There are a number of different Battle Wagon racing teams in each race. In the race featured in Petals to the Metal, there are 16 participants, including both Hurley’s team and The Raven.

A team can have up to four people on it: one driver and three taking both offensive and defensive positions.

The race begins with all the wagons in their own crate, which is positioned by helpful goblin pit crews. It’s a security precaution, but it helps keep things fair, so you can’t scout out the other vehicles. A first horn signals racers to get ready, get set, and a second horn begins the race.

Battle Wagons!
Battle Wagons are definitely not cars, although sometimes they look a lot like cars, and at times the DM might mistakenly refer to them as cars. To reiterate, they are definitely not cars. If they do something that a car doesn’t do, just remember that they’re not cars, and calm down a little bit there, Vin Diesel.

Most Battle Wagons include a major weapon. The design of the Battle Wagons and the type of weapons they employ varies from racer to racer.

The Ram
Hurley’s battle wagon has a dark gray tanned leather exterior with sleek patches of thick, silvery armor. The interior has had some tweaks: cupholders, bucket seats (but no satellite radio, as it is nonexistent in the realm). The bow of the battle wagon is long and flat with what appears to be a black metal engine block poking through. On the front of the car, two shiny spirals are positioned like Ram’s Horns. On the back of the wagon, there’s an array of six huge exhaust pipes.

The battle wagon is incredibly impressive and incredibly imposing. It is sleek and really really dangerous.

The wagon is not battle damaged, but looks a little bit like Frankenstein, “like six of the cars from Mad Max had been smashed into the Death Proof muscle car.”

The engine is runs on an Arcane Core[citation: procured from the Hammerhead Gang in Ep. 23], and has a huge, beautiful engine noise.

The wagon features a gunner compartment with a harpoon gun in the middle of the roof.

The Hammerhead Tank
The Hammerhead Gang drives a shark-shaped tank. It has three rows of sharp teeth, mounted above which are two enormous cannons, and then inside of the mouth of the tank is a large, spiny, and very violent-looking grappling hook. Above that is the driver’s cabin of the tank, and mounted above that, it looks like there’s another shielded compartment.

Klarg’s Motorcycle (Orig. Hammerhead)
While escaping from the Hammerhead HQ Klarg commandeers his own Battle Wagon. It’s a long, sleek, two-wheeled, rusted-bronze color Battle Wagon. Or, to put it another way, one sweet sweet motorcycle.