Gary the Gargoyle

"We do not urinate or defecate directly on the floor... It does not magically disappear. It just magically sits there and it magically grosses everyone out."

Gary the Gargoyle is a system of magical sentient stone gargoyles that assist students of Hieronymous Wiggenstaff's School for Heroism and Villainy. The system is comprised of a hive mind of gargoyles with individual consciousnesses that inhabit each dorm room. Gary is meant to help students with any questions they have about the school, the students simply must say "Gary, Help" when within earshot of a gargoyle.