Ep. 64: The Stolen Century - Chapter Five/Transcript

Transcript by the lovely volunteers at TAZscripts.

Griffin: Previously, on the Adventure Zone:

Travis: Uh, my background is that of a carpenter. Um, who has become a folk hero.

Griffin: You built a tight chair once.

Travis: Yeah.

Griffin: You built a chair once and the whole village came around.

Travis: I built an army out of wood.

Griffin: Uh huh. You are seeing a memory and you know that you are seeing it from the perspective of the Voidfish. You’re inside a cave, it feels like home. And you know that because there’s other Voidfish here too.



Griffin: So, Chancellor Marlow takes you to the Legato Conservatory. And when the light clears, the sheet music’s gone. And so is the song. There’s another flash from the cave, and we see everyone in all the kingdoms and conservatories in this whole world, um, even the beings living in the other planes of reality, they all hear this song too, now.



[theme song plays]

{2:09}

Griffin: So it’s immediately after that musical, um, presentation here at the stage in front of the cave. And, um, the seven of you have talked a little bit with Chancellor Marlow about what you- what you just saw, about this phenomenon that Chancellor Marlow [crosstalk] claimed to be the--

Travis: [crosstalk] Now, h- hold on, Griffin. Hold- hold on. Don’t jump ahead.

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: We’re at a reception, right, recital?

Griffin: Yeah.

Travis: We’re kinda like, are there apps? Is it like the- are the beer and the wine free?

Griffin: So there are--

Clint: Tapas? I love tapas.

Griffin: There’s tapas. There’s a lot of finger sandwiches, and a, like, a- a- a- there’s probably lemonade. Nobody’s really getting into it though because you- you get the impression that this type of ceremony happens a lot. And, like, if folks snac- if- if folks yummied down on these sandwiches and, um, lemonade like every time they came here, probably be bad for the- probably be bad for the, you know, digestion. But there’s plenty [crosstalk] if you wanna--

Clint: [crosstalk] Well that doesn’t keep us from doin’ it though, right?

Griffin: Yeah you snack- you snack down.

Clint: [makes eating sounds]

Travis: I take a whole tray of finger sandwiches and I’m- I’m listening intently, don’t- I don’t need my teeth to listen, you know what I mean?

Griffin: Sure. Uh, so Chancellor Marlow explains about this phenomenon that you heard her call ‘The Light of Creation’ earlier. Um, and so the first thing you learn about this cave is that nobody can go into it. Um, it’s not just like a hard and fast rule for all of the conservatories--all of which are sort of built around this mountain, sort of with their own caves leading into it--so it’s not just the law of the land, like, when you try to walk in, there’s a flash of light and suddenly you are walking out, just- just the way that you came. Um, there are rumors though, of a Forte Conservatory student who made their way into the school- uh, the- the- the cave’s entrance- uh, their schools entrance, into the mountain, after having their song selected by the light.

Um, so after conversing with- with Marlow and with each other, and sort of relating to her the dire importance of your mission, she offers a suggestion. You spend this year training at the Legato Conservatory, and you submit a work to the mountain. Um, to- to what she and everyone else calls ‘The Light of Creation’. And if it’s accepted, you might be able to- to gain access inside. Um, so that is the set up for this cycle, um, and…what do you work on this year? What craft do you work on, uh, what work do you submit to- th, uh, the- the cave?

Travis: Well, okay so this is my question. Does it have to be music?

Griffin: No, it doesn’t have to be music. It- it- Marlow explains like these- the conservatory has specialties in like all of these different, um, forms, and all of these different, um...like artistic mediums. There are sculptors, and painters, and dancers, and, um...there are, you know, uh...wood carvers and there are singers. And [crosstalk] writers--

Travis: [crosstalk] W- wood carvers?

Griffin: And yeah, like, so- so you know sculptors of all kinds of different mediums.

Travis: So would, like, carving wood with like knives and...like blades, weapons. Yeah?

Griffin: [Smiling] Yeah, you- well I mean they have special knives and- and they don’t use like a big- they don’t use like a big scimitar or whatever. But the- I guess there are sharp instruments used.

Travis: That immediately interests Magnus.

Griffin: [Smiling] Because it’s a thing you can do with weapons?

Travis: Yup.

Griffin: Mkay.

Travis: At fir- at first!

Griffin: Yeah, sure.

Travis: He has not learned the artistry of carving, Griffin. So it- it’s just seems violent to him, right? And so that’s interesting--

Griffin: Uh, okay--

Travis: --you know?

Griffin: W- we’ll do yours first then well, Taako and Merle--

Travis: It was either gonna be that or drumming. [Laughs]

Griffin: [Laughs] That would also be very good. We’ll do yours first while Taako and Merle sorta- sort of think of their, um, their mediums. Um, so yeah, I guess you get matched up with a wood carver who is also like a, just a very gruff and, um...he has a very violent approach to art. And, uh, just gives you like a big log every day to just- and I think when you start- you start out, the professor whose name is Professor Kristoph--Kristoph Kovak on Twitter, thank you Kristoph--uh, it- it’s just like,



Travis: And I wanna be straight up, it’s terrible at first.

Griffin: Oh, no, yeah! I mean, how do you get to Carnegie Hall?

Travis: I don’t know.

Clint: Take a left? At...fourth street...

Griffin: Um, Magnus make a- since- since I- the way you’ve set this up it sounds like your art on this wood is sort of an a- it starts off with just sort of attacking, so I guess make a body roll, um, plus body. Body roll sounds like a sick dance move.

Travis: Well, Griffin, I’ll be honest with you, it wasn’t great. And here’s why, here’s my justification: I think that attacking the wood does not prove to actually be--

Griffin: Oh I see.

Travis: --Magnus’s forte, so I wanted him- I’m glad he failed at it.

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: Because I would actually rather transition toward when the teacher is like:



Griffin: Okay then you [laughing] you have a different professor, I have to get another name from twitter. Um-

Travis: Mm-hm?

Griffin: Professor Bower, Johnathan Bower--thank you on Twitter--uh, who’s like,



Travis: Oh, okay! Well, I got an 11! Is that tender enough?

Griffin: That’s extremely tender, what’s the first thing you carve that you, like, really like?

Travis: It’s a duck, baby.

Griffin: [Laughs] A big duck, a handheld duck, what’s the…?

Travis: Listen, it’s a slightly clumsy duck-sized duck. Um, you know a little- listen, little knobbly. Um, and there’s like, you know, a couple spots where you can see like a drop of blood that’s soaked into the wood, you know, where like I nicked myself doing it. But within it, it’s like somebody took a lot of time and care to do this thing that they were not inherently good at.

Griffin: Mm-hm.

Travis: And so, in and of itself, its imperfection is what makes it beautiful.

Griffin: Um, you get an A on your duck. Very tender. And, um, Professor Bower asks if you’re- if this is what you want to submit to- to the cave, um, after your year of study.

Travis: I will tell you right now, Magnus has never been prouder of anything than he is of this duck.

Griffin: Okay, um, take- take +2 experience for learning this sort of essential trade craft to- to the Magnus backstory. Taako and Merle? Do either of you have a medium that you want to sort of develop some mastery in during the year.

Clint: Um…



Griffin: What style of dance there’s so much dance.



Griffin: There’s two- there’s a professor for jazz dancing and there’s a professor for interpretive dancing, and--

Travis: They are two completely different art forms.

Griffin: It’s two completely different art forms and they don’t really, um, they don’t really get along. And so after like a few sessions of j- like both of them trying to train you, I think they just kind of leave you to yourself. So after you’ve learned some of the basic steps of both crafts, I think it’s just up to you to sort of look within and find the interpretive jazz inside yourself, and sort of bring that out into the world.

Clint: The jazz in Merle.

Griffin: How do you, mmm…I think this would also be a body roll too because it’s like dance, like it’s very physical.

Travis: You do do body rolls in dance, Griffin, that’s likely.

Griffin: You do do a body roll.

Clint: All right, body roll. [Rolls dice] 10!

Griffin: Heh- holy shit! Your body’s not like your thing. That’s very good.

Clint: A- and- yeah!

Griffin: I think after a while you are sort of brought on as an adjunct professor to this new type of dance.

Travis: [Laughs loudly]

Clint: Ohh.

Griffin: At- at Legato- at the Legato Conservatory. And I think--

Clint: Yea-ha-ha-ha!

Griffin: --I think those two professors, at the end of the- the movie of Merle Presents: Save the Last Dance, they get together and sort of realize the error of their ways. And all of a sudden, like people from the other conservatories start like flocking to- to this one. They start transferring to this school just to- just to- to learn this interpretive jazz dance that’s just sweeping the nation, that people are getting so excited about. Um, can you describe the dance- and I think you just would like submit a- a step chart, uh what- what does the dance look like that you submit to the cave?

Clint: Um, the first- the first thing that happens is you have your feet completely right next to each other, and then you shift your feet so they’re like at a 90 degree angle. Uh--

Griffin: That would--

Clint: --and then you do a lot of scissor steps.

Griffin: Okay.

Clint: Uh, and now here’s the thing, you do scissor steps with your feet front back front back front back, but with your arms, you go scissors, uh, in the air, up and down up and down up and down.

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: What about the hands man! What do you do with the hands?!

Clint: Well the hands are alternating, uh, and this is where the interpretive comes in. You- we are using the hands as almost like signals. Like you- creatively you’re making shapes--

Griffin: Okay.

Clint: --like if you were making shadows without light.

Griffin: So what are you interpreting, what sort of motif or idea or emotion- I’m watching you do this awesome scissor dance. What- what do I feel?

Clint: Uh, pity? [Laughter]

Travis: Well.

Clint: No I, it’s very moving, and- because you can see what I’m trying to get at is- is man’s, um, injustices.

Griffin: [Sarcastically] Woah.

Clint: Uh, against other mans.

Griffin: [Laughing slightly] Okay.

Clint: And- and- and that’s- this is- because you can see this- this poor figure, trying to, well to touch God.

Justin: Mmm.

Griffin: Oh you- so it’s the- is perhaps the name of the dance God Touch?

Clint: Uh, it’s actually called A Pandemonium. Pandemonium.

Griffin: Fuck that’s good.

Clint: Yeah.

Griffin: Take two- take two experience, just for the name.

Clint: Cool, cool.

Griffin: Uh, Taako, what are you workin’ on?

Justin: Mmm. My art is...the subtle art of aphorisms.

Griffin: I dunno what that means.

Justin: It- uhh, it means--

Griffin: Is that where you touch the bumps on people’s heads to like read the future?

Justin: No, like little sayings--that’s phrenology I think--little sayings that contain a lotta truth and sound very wise.

Griffin: [Laughs]

Justin: And that’s my art form. But what Taako’s doing is, um, really just recycling ones that exist in his reality and probably not this one and crediting them to himself.

Griffin: [Laughs]

Justin: ‘Cause he figured that would be an easy thing to do for a year.

Griffin: This is- this is Hurley writing Empire Strikes Back on Lost, like.

Justin: Exactly, right, exactly.

Griffin: You have- you have a Poor Richard’s Almanack, and you’re like, “Mm don’t mind if I do thank you Ben”.

Justin: Yeah, so that’s his- his jam. He just like, goes in Day 1, and is like,



Justin: Which he knows is a quote by Coco Chanel, but he just like spits it--

Griffin: Yeah.

Justin: --no hesitation. [crosstalk] And everyone’s like--

Clint: [crosstalk] Nah, yeah.

Griffin: [crosstalk] Well fantasy- fantasy Coco Chanel. If- if- if such a being could- [crosstalk] could ever truly--

Justin: [crosstalk] Fantasy Coco Chanel.

Clint: [crosstalk] And it’s spell K-O-K-O.

Griffin: Um, okay. I- I think there’s probably like a philosophy class at- at- in the school. Um, that you sort of come into and just start dropping all these fuckin’ bombs. And the philosophy professor’s just really annoyed by it? I think at first. Until they realize like,



Griffin: Can you break me off another- another piece ‘cause I think you probably have a website open.

Justin: I don’t, I just have these in my head.

Griffin: You have this Coco Chanel- you have this dope ass Coco Chanel quote?

Justin: It’s a dope quote, I- I have a lot of quotes about being yourself that I just memorized to help me keep- keep me grounded.

Travis: They’re all Coco Chanel [Laughs].

Justin: Here’s another Coco Chanel. Uh,



Justin: That’s Dr. Seuss right there.

Griffin: Fuck.

Justin: Now it’s- now it’s Taako, over here. In this joint, that’s a Taako thing.

Clint: Wow.

Griffin: Roll a--

Clint: How- how ‘bout um, “Here I sit all broken-hearted--”

Justin: Don’t you dare.

Travis: Nope.

Clint: Okay.

Griffin: Don’t you dare do this. Um, roll plus mind, I think.

Justin: Okay. That is...11.

Griffin: Wow, all good rolls. Everybody’s kinda killin’ it at the Conservatory.

Justin: I- I feel like I should be running this class.

Griffin: Um, yeah I think you--

Justin: ‘Cause he’s just pe- uh things other people say, and I’m coming up with my own dope shit.

Griffin: Well, kind of. Um, I think that--

Clint: [Laughs]

Griffin: --I think you lead sort of an Order-of-the-Phoenix-style like alt-philosophy class that’s all about just like, being yourself and connecting with who you really are. Um, and that definitely attracts a lot of the students here ‘cause this con- this conservatory and all the conservatories are very competitive, and so there’s people who come to see you and they’re like,



Griffin: And--

Justin: Yeah don’t- don’t look for s- look- don’t uh look for society f- to give you permission to be yourself.

Clint: Mm.

Justin: Think about that.

Griffin: Was that someone else or did you- was that off the dome?

Justin: Mm, hmm? Yes, Steve Maraboli. Uh- it doesn’t matter.

Griffin: So--



Justin: Jim Morrison. But now Taako.

Griffin: [Laughs] Um, do you write these down in a book to submit to the- the m- the mountain?

Justin: Yeah.

Griffin: Okay.

Clint: Aw, I think somebody writes ‘em down for him.

Griffin: What’s--

Justin: I probably don’t- yeah that- thank you Dad. Of course, I don’t do the scribing myself.

Griffin: Is the book--

Justin: It opens with,



Justin: Now that used to be Angelina Jolie, but uh, now it’s Taako.

Griffin: [Claps and laughs] That’s my favorite Taako quote. What’s book called?

Justin: Uh, Taako’s- Taako T-- [Laughs]

Griffin: [Laughs]

Justin: Taako Time! A- a book of inspirational aphorisms that, uh, for the, uh, uh, independent soul.

Griffin: Aw, shit that’s good. Okay. Take +2 experience, everybody gets +2 experience points. Um--

Travis: Hey Griffin I would like to retroactively add something--

Griffin: Okay yes.

Travis: --just to prove to people that I haven’t forgotten about it.

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: Uh, I carved that duck with my grandfather’s knife that I had- that I claimed to have in the first episode of this very podcast!

Griffin: Uh, okay yeah, sure. You- you still have that beau- that wonderful knife that you use for all your carvin’. Um, let’s get to- it’s close to the end of the year, you have about, uh, you have a couple weeks left before you know the Hunger is going to, um, arrive and so you all are scheduled for a submission--all seven of you--and uh, the ceremony is more or less identical to the one you went to at the beginning of the year.

And you probably went to a few of these, as you sorta got to know the other students here at the Conservatory and go to like support them as they submit their- their works. And this is like, this is really, um, it’s a terrifying thing to do. Uh, because it’s not- it- more often than not, the mountain does not, um, sort of rebroadcast whatever it is that you submit to it. So every time that you work your ass off on this thing that you are proud of and submit it to the mountain, um, there is no guarantee that it- it- it’s going to be accepted, and therefore it’s going to be sort of eliminated, completely.

Um, eliminated even from your own mind, you won’t remember what this thing is that you made. Um...so you go the ceremony and there’s the same sandwiches and lemonade, and the seven of you, uh, take turns going up to stage, presenting your work, um, which for the three of you must be a pretty fun sight. Um, and Magnus, what’s your’s look like? ‘Cause you made a duck and you’re--

Travis: Yeah, there’s- I’ll tell ya, Griffin, here’s the thing, I’ve been sittin’ here thinking about it and I think that, in the moment when he finished the duck, I think Magnus was insanely proud of it. ‘Cause it’s something like he worked at, and took his time at. That he didn’t normally do. But I think that seeing people present these masterpieces, these beautiful songs, or artworks that they cr- they’ve created, I think that he actually gets a little embarrassed?

Griffin: Mm.

Travis: About it, because like he’s looking at this like, knobbly, you know stained duck. And I actually think he’s- he’s a little embarrassed that he was so proud of it.

Griffin: Oh no. Um, Professor Bower comes ‘cause the- the professor- your professor always goes up there with you. Um, when you- when you do- when you submit a work. And he puts his- he puts his hand on your shoulder and he’s like,



Travis: Actually making me feel a lil’ bad for Magnus, but he presents it and whispers,



Griffin: Um, I think there’s a uncomfortable smattering of applause, just from people not really knowing how to respond to somebody being quite- quite this, um, self- self-effacing? Um, there’s a couple people though who are like,



Griffin: Um, and Merle I guess your presentation is--

Clint: I, uh- uh- uh- uh- Professor Merle.

Griffin: Professor Merle, what is your presentation to the audience.

Clint: I’m going to actually recreate my dance.

Griffin: Okay.

Clint: Uh, and I--

Griffin: Is there music to the dance?

Clint: I have actually the music in me. Um, but it’s kind of a, oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz, oontz, okay I’m done.

Griffin: Mm my favorite- my favorite jazz rhythm.

Clint: Yeah, ootnz ootnz, and um, and I have added a one little wrinkle, I’ve got my arms akimbo. And my fingers are dangling down below, and with that I am acting like tentacles.

Griffin: Okay.

Clint: Uh, and there’s a lot of head gyrations, there’s a lot of head rolls--

Griffin: Yeah.

Clint: --uh, and just because I am Professor Merle, a couple of uh pelvic thrusts.

Travis: Mmm.

Griffin: I don’t see why that has to do with, being a teacher.

Clint: Well, it’s the sensuality because this is--

Griffin: [Laughs]

Clint: --a very sensual dance. The interpretive jazz dancing is- is very sensual, very physic- it’s like belly dancing.

Griffin: Yeah the way you’ve described it, it sounds [crosstalk] very sensual.

Clint: [crosstalk] And- and I just am in- at- at one point, I am so caught up in the dance, I completely lose myself, and- and- and I finish up whirling like a Dervish and- and just going mad, becoming one with the universe, and- and then collapse in a sweaty, dwarf-y heap.

Griffin: Um, the audience applauds hornily.

[Laughter]

Griffin: Um, Davenport gets up on the stage, and sings a beautiful, tenor opera solo, that goes on for like, eighteen minutes. Um, but you are enraptured the entire time. He’s got a lov- he’s got a lovely [crossover], beautiful lil’ voice that sort of echoes down the- the valley, that these presentations take place in.

Clint: [sings Ave Maria]

Griffin: Um, and...Lucretia gets up and presents a painting? That she made. She does a painting of this, um, like famous city market square, like this, um, public space, uh that was, a- a really sort of beautiful fixture of the town that the, uh, IPRE headquarters was in, in your home. And it’s been 50 years but like, you all remember this- this little space, and it’s just sort of like a still life scene of all these people congregating in this public square and it’s a- it’s a- she was a, a very talented painter before this year and she’s only gotten better. Taako, what is your- what is your presentation of your, uh, your aphorism book look like?

Justin: I walk up to a pedestal, and I drop my book on the pedestal, and say,



Justin: And then I walk off the stage.

Clint: Yeah.

Griffin: Uh, all of the students who’ve like attended your outdoor, uh, sermons I guess? Are like, very enthused. Like,



Clint: [Laughs]



Clint: Oh.

Justin: Do they like that one?

Clint: That’s good. [Quieter] That’s good.

Griffin: Um--

Justin: And that’s one of the Pope’s, I don’t remember which one.

Clint: One more, one more. He’s got another one.



Clint: [Gasps]

Justin: JFK. Now Taako.

Griffin: Um, uh--

Justin: Used to be JFK, now it’s Taako.

Griffin: A dude in the audience like stands up and he’s like,



Griffin: And he, immediately like walks off.

Clint: [Chuckles]



Griffin: Y- you hear him like shouting down the valley like,



Clint: [Laughs]

Griffin: Um, you all go up and you do your presentations, and immediately you go and you submit your works to the mountain. Um, Taako your book of aphorisms is quickly absorbed by the light, and then all of a sudden, like all of your aphorisms are immediately implanted in everybody’s minds, which may not be great ‘cause I don’t know that anybody’s gonna purchase, uh, this- this collection.

Justin: Damn.

Griffin: Now that they’ve memorized all of it. Um, the same happens for Lucretia, and Barry (I think he means Davenport), um, Merle, it- there’s a flash, and your dance, you don’t remember the steps anymore--the step chart disappears and you don’t remember anything about how you do the dance. And then like, there’s a real long pause, as if the mountain is really thinking about it, having some sort of internal argument about whether or not they want to implant this vision of this, um, very sensual dwarf dance? Into everybody’s--

Clint: This like that moment right before Tom Bergeron announces who won Dancing With the Stars, isn’t it.

Griffin: Mm. And--

Clint: [Imitating an announcer voice] And the winner is [Drum roll]--

Griffin: Um--

Clint: Please, please, please.

Griffin: --and it flashes and everybody does in fact see your form doing that dance.

Clint: Yeah!

Griffin: Magnus you- you submit your duck up to the pedestal, um, and there is a flash and it is taken, and then very quickly there is like a very faint flash, from the mountain. Um, but it seems to still get the the job done, because everybody immediately remembers this great duck that you made, for s- for whatever reason, the mountain really, really was enthusiastic about your duck. And rebroadcast it. Um, and the--

Travis: Okay, Magnus- Magnus starts crying.

Griffin: Aww. The last two people to go up on stage--

Justin: So does Taako, if that’s all we have to do.

Clint: [Laughs]

Justin: Fine, yeah, Taako does too a lot. It’s really--

Clint: Merle cries. Merle cries even more.

Justin: Yeah. Merle cry, and Taako cries ‘cause Merle’s cry- [Wails]

Clint: [Sobs]



Griffin: [Laughs] Uh, the last two- the last two people to present their work to the audience and to the mountain, is Barry and Lup. Um, and you haven’t like seen them much this cycle. They’ve been spending like a lot of, uh, time together. Specifically working on this- this work that they are going to present to- to everybody. And it’s not uncommon for them to like, go off like this. Like they are...at- at this point like, very close collaborators on a lot of the things that they do.

Most of the time in like studying different parts of the- the world that you’re in. Um, but- but this time they got together to...to work on this very very specific craft. And, as they approach the stage and sit down, Taako you can’t remember the last time you saw Lup nervous, but she is. Barry’s always nervous and he’s- he’s in rare form here, but Lup is- also seems kind of anxious, about this performance. And she walks up, and she picks up a violin, and Barry sits down at a- a big grand piano, and they play a duet. And, and in watching them play this composition, you realize, really for the first time, just how profoundly Barry and Lup’s relationship has changed.

Time is different for the seven of you, than it has been for anyone else who ever lived. During your one-hundred year journey, you don’t age thanks to whatever forces keep putting you back together at the beginning of each year. Your minds stay sharp. You learn skills and languages and new proficiencies. You become remarkably capable adventurers during your voyage on the Starblaster. But it’s not just your minds that develop, across this ageless century, something less quantifiable develops too.

[Salut D’Amour by Edward Elgar starts playing]

Our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives, and which each moment we spend with those people. But, too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favor of others. And by the time we realize just how important that is, we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with. But the seven of you have something that nobody else ever had: time. All the time in the world. Time enough to grow indescribably close. Time enough to- to learn how to care for each other, how to allow yourselves to be cared for. And in the case of Barry and Lup, time enough to fall deeply and truly in love.

Barry felt it first. During a particularly challenging year, Lup caught him crying. And she softly and sincerely consoled him, and just for a moment, the professional wall between them came down. And something shown through. Lup wasn’t far behind. Her moment of realization was a bit more innocuous. During that cycle with the- the robots, Barry helped repair the- the small frame of a vessel housing a particularly rambunctious spirit, and it kept shocking him, and laughing. And Lup laughed too, and she knew.

This new love, it- it wasn’t their focus during the journey. Barry worked tirelessly to understand each world you traveled to, to- to understand the Hunger and figure out a way to defeat it. Lup grew furiously in arcane power, studying the mystical secrets of the planes, hoping to master whatever spell would break your team out of their desperate retreat. But there were moments between those studies, meals shared in secret, just the two of them under the guise of their work, sightseeing trips for two across these doomed worlds. And that love grew, and it grew, until it reached the point that all great loves grow toward: the point of...inevitability.

Looking back, this performance is where that love that Barry and Lup cultivated quietly and cautiously over the last half century truly bloomed. There was romance in every measure, and longing in every note. And after the performance, they- they take each other’s hands high in the air, and they swoop down for this over-the-top bow, just laughing at- at the drama of it all. And the audience cheers. And Barry and Lup laugh, and they don’t let each other’s hands go. And then they stop laughing, and they don’t let each other’s hands go. And they keep not letting go. And Lup says,



Griffin: And Barry says,



Griffin: And Lup goes and puts their sheet music up on the pedestal, and there’s a flash of light from the cave. And the beautiful duet they just played is gone from your minds, and seconds later there’s a second flash, and the song returns, and there’s a roar of applause from the audience. And Barry and Lup’s professor is searching for them in the crowd, just hoping to congratulate them. But they’re already gone, running back up the valley to the Conservatory, hand in hand.

Travis: Magnus leans down to Merle,



Justin: [Snorts]



Justin: [Laughs]

[Music stops playing]

{31:50 Hey everybody this is Griffin McElroy your dungeon master, your best friend, and your local HVAC repair person. Looks like you got a skunk up here again. Dammit Jeff!}

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{38:12 - end of commercial break}

Griffin: Um, so after the submission ceremony, the crowd of patients and students is cleared out. It’s a few hours later. Um--

Justin: I- I w- I do wanna just echo what I’m sure the audience is thinking right now, and that’s I’m really disappointed that I don’t get to hear my brother do a romance scene with himself. [Laughter]

Griffin: Yeah.

Justin: I was- I was really [Laughs] hoping you--

Clint: Your skin is really smooth! [In different voice] Thanks.

Justin: [crosstalk] I love you more! [In different voice] No I love you more! [In other voice] No I love you more!

Travis: [crosstalk] It would basically- it- it would be the audio equivalent of wrapping your arms around yourself to make it look like you’re making out with someone.

Clint: [Laughs]

Griffin: [Smiling] Um--

Clint: [Laughs louder]

Griffin: [Still smiling] So, it’s after the ceremony and it’s just the seven of you, uh, with Chancellor Marlow in front of the cave. And all of your works have been accepted and so she gestures you toward the cave. And one by one, you all approach the entrance and walk inside, and one by one, you are all rebuffed by the light’s flashing. And after this, Davenport gets kind of frantic, and he says,



Griffin: And Lup is like,



Clint: [Laughs]



Griffin: And Marlow’s like,



Griffin: Um, and so the eight of you sort of retire and sort of strategize on how to get into this- this mountain since this thing that you’ve been working towards this whole year just didn’t work. Um, and you have a nice meal, um, the food at the Conservatory is like, really- it’s actually really good. It’s like uh, f- for dinner you have this like rich duck stew with roasted corn. And everybody gets a full belly and after sort of a fruitless meeting, everybody goes to sleep. Um, everybody except Magnus. Magnus you can’t sleep. Wh- what do you do when you- when you can’t sleep?

Travis: You know, I imagine it’s kind of a…a calisthenics thing, you know. Like start moving around, start walking.

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: I imagine he’s probably a, like, can’t sleep, work out, run, jog kinda person.

Griffin: Alright. Yeah okay that’s great. You do a- you’re doing a jog around sort of the- the Conservatory campus. Um, you’re the only one up, it’s about 1 AM. And you run and you run and you run to the gate and the gate’s open and there’s a guard the- the nightshift guard kinda nods to you as you run through the gate. And down the valley, it’s a nice, uh, sort of hiking path, down the valley down to where the, uh, submission area is.

When you get to the submission area, um, it’s a, it’s sort of a partially moonlit night. There’s- there’s clouds in the sky so the- you- you can’t see especially well, but when you get close to the cave, you see a bright light, um, in front of the cave, outside of the cave, and this light is- is moving around. Um, and as you get closer and sort of approach cautiously, you see what- what looks like a...some sort of jellyfish?

And it’s- it is hovering in the air and it is sort of, um, using its- its- its tentacles to sort of push itself around in the air, floating around. And you think it sees you because when you sort of come into the clearing, it- it hums, like this high pitched note, um, and doesn’t seem to like, run away from you or be scared of you as you get closer.

Travis: Magnus hesitates.

Griffin: [Smiling] Okay. Um, it- it--

Clint: So does Travis.

Griffin: It starts to move into the cave, kind of slowly-- [crosstalk] still kind of like swimming in the air.

Travis: [crosstalk] I- I- I would- I move forw- towards it kind of hand up in like a ‘Wait, wait, wait!’ kind of gesture you know, hand out--

Griffin: Yeah. The- the light- the light disappears and goes into the cave, and you stand there for like, a second, and then it re-emerges and kind of like hums at you again, and then starts to again slowly move back into the cave.

Travis: Magnus rushes in.

Griffin: [Smiling] Mkay. You, um...you enter into the cave and you tried this earlier in the day and were like immediately turned- turned around by the mountain. But as you enter the cavern’s mouth tonight, there's no flash of light. You walk deeper and deeper into the belly of this mountain. It’s getting a little bit colder you’re probably wearing some like, short jogging gear. Um, and so you move into the belly of this mountain for what feels like- like ten minutes.

Um, and you’re just squeezing through a few tight passageways, and your- your path is illuminated by this creature, this glowing jellyfish-like creature as it moves deeper and deeper, uh, leads into the central chamber of this cave system.

And it’s- it’s fucking massive. You see like- you see other sort of um...uh caverns leading out of it in all directions and you- you assume like ‘Oh this is- this is what connects to all of these different conservatories, um, all around this continent. Um, this chamber is mostly dark but there are these twinkling multi-colored crystals all over that cast these, uh, dancing lights all across the room. And you’re still following this jellyfish that’s sort of playfully leading you in- inside. But as soon as you leave this chamber, there are a bunch of other creatures like the one you’ve been following that sort of float towards you.

Um, and they’re larger, they’re larger than the one you’ve been following. And you don’t know much about them but you sense sort of a defensiveness about them? But, you see this smaller creature kind of hum at them, almost as if it’s saying like, ‘Nah he’s cool.’ And after some communal humming between all of them, then the larger creatures float off.

[Music starts playing] And so you follow this little baby jellyfish into a nook in the side of the chamber, and it shows you this collection of odds and ends. There’s a pile of those multi-colored rocks that are glowing, and they are sort of casting a kaleidoscopic shower of light all around this little nook. Um, and there’s a row of glass bottles that are neatly organized by size, um, there’s a bed of moss that you assume is where this creature lays its head, uh at- or I guess its...jelly cap? At night.

Justin: That’s the technical term, jelly cap.

Griffin: I think so, I’m not a jellyfish-ologist. Next to that bed is your carved wooden duck. And it hovers over to it and it kind of like wraps its tendrils around it, kinda gleefully, and rolls around in this bed with your duck. And it sings a little song. Um, and then it floats back towards you, and then floats backs to the duck and hums at you.



Griffin: It- it hums at you in even higher pitched like, happier little song. Um, and sort of hands- it- it floats over and picks up the duck and hands it to you, and then it take it away from you again and sets it down on the bed.

Travis: Okay? I- I sit down on the bed with it? With the duck?

Griffin: Um, it makes- it- it takes some of the moss off the bed and it roughly shapes it into the shape of another duck next to the- the wooden duck. And like points at it, and then points to you.



Griffin: It sings like ‘Yes, yes, yes!’ It sings like this, really really, like joyous refrain in this- this humming voice that you’ve heard. It wants more ducks.



Griffin: Um, the light inside of it starts to dim a lil’ bit, and it looks kinda sad.



Griffin: With that the light sort of picks up and again and the- it does a little dance, and sings its- its happy song.

Justin: It’s- it’s called a bell, a jellyfish head. [crosstalk] A bell, it’s the bell.

Griffin: [crosstalk] Oh! I’m gonna stick with jelly cap, it’s better.

Justin: Oh- woah! Kay.

Travis: Jelly cap sounds like a euphemism for condom by the way but go on.

Griffin: Um, oh so you have this sort of like, as best you can conversation with this- with this jellyfish, this glowing jellyfish creature. Um, and you get this sense that it wants you to bring it more ducks. And so you promise to make more. And you spend a little more time in here, um--

Clint: Send more ducks! [laughs]

Griffin: And, as you sort of walk around this central chamber, Magnus, you have sort of a, upsetting realization. The Light of Creation isn’t in here. The Li- the Light of Creation isn’t, like, it’s- it- it maybe was never in this mountain, at all. Um, what you put together, is just by a pretty unfortunate coincidence, this phenomenon, that the- these- these fish seem to be able to create where they, uh, delete these- these works of art from the world and then rebroadcast them to the world, um, at their- at their pleasure.

Is- it just happens to be a phenomenon that the people of this world called the Light of Creation. And when you make that realization, it- it hits you like a sack of bricks because you’ve got, now, nine days, and that’s probably not gonna be enough time for you all to- to find what you need to find to- to save this world. Do you come back with more ducks?

Travis: Of course!

Griffin: I know we just jumped from sort of a high stakes thing to sort of a much lower stakes thing.

Travis: I would, here’s- here’s what I would say. I would- I come back with more ducks, but I would definitely have a conversation with Barry about this.

Griffin: Yeah I think you--

Travis: Maybe just one-on-one at first with Barry, as like kind of our science officer, of like,



Griffin: Barry says uh,



Griffin: He’s like in a great mood. He’s like really- he’s like, for the rest of this cycle, he’s just really- you- you tell him like,



Griffin: And he’s like,



Griffin: And Lup’s like,



Griffin: And the two of them like, take off in the Starblaster and- and try to do some last minute reconnaissance, to- to find the Light. Um, do you bring any more ducks?

Travis: I do bring more ducks. Of course I bring more ducks.

Griffin: How many ducks are you able to bring to it that first night back?

Travis: Let’s see, in 24 hours I think I could carve three ducks.

Griffin: Mkay.

Justin: Did he tell- did he tell us? Or just Barry.

Travis: Okay fine, I told them. I was just being difficult.

Griffin: Um, Taako--

Clint: Oh, Magnus.

Griffin: --Taako and Merle, what do you g- do you all do anything, when you find this out?

Justin: Uh, yeah I call a meeting in the- the town.

Griffin: Mkay.



Griffin: You have--



Griffin: [Laughs] Okay.

Justin: Sorry, go ahead?

Griffin: [Laughing] No you just haven’t been on TV yet, is this just a thing you say about yourself?

Justin: Mmm…

Travis: [crosstalk] It’s as per usual.

Clint: [crosstalk] It’s an aphorism.

Justin: It’s aspirational, exactly. Um,



Justin: I describe it for them.

Griffin: Okay.



[Unintelligible noises of self-confidence]



Griffin: Uh, roll plus heart, Taako.

Justin: 10!

Griffin: Um, okay with a- so uh, I think what happens is...uh a lot of the students here at the Conservatory, are like so- so like- so like stressed about their work and their craft, um, and also like the seven of you just rolled up from another reality and then like, 100% of you got works submitted and accepted by the Voidfish and I think folks are feeling maybe a lil’- even more competitive than normal?

And so like a majority of the student body is like, ‘Ohh kay’, and then they go back to practicing the harpsichord or whatever? Your students that you, like, met with under the tree, your like die-hard devotees, you- they’re like,



Griffin: And you sort of share some of the information with them. And they immediately, they- they are tireless. They do not sleep the next nine days as they go around looking for the Light of Creation.

Clint: I do a beautiful, moving interpretive dance convincing my students to go with his students.

Griffin: Uh, okay, all of your students come together. Um, and the- your- your two groups of students, the masters of dance and the masters of self, uh come together, and form a search party, uh, looking for the Light of Creation. Um, both of you take +1 bond, just with like your- your students. Um, that- that have, uh, come together to try to help you out, and I guess help themselves out. And [rolls dice] they don’t find the Light of Creation.

What they do find is...one of the students- one of your students, Merle, brings back this glimmering, singing diamond that they found in one of the professors’ rooms. Um, and the professor’s--

Travis: Woah, wait what?

Griffin: Yeah the professor’s like away and they went in their room and saw this bright, shining light and they bring this to you, Merle, and they’re like,



Griffin: And it- it’s- it’s not, it’s just like this singing diamond. Um, what do you do?

Clint: Um…



Griffin: So you take it?

Clint: Yeah.

Griffin: [Smiling] Alright, take +1 asset--

Travis: [Laughs]

Griffin: --uh and Taako, your students bring you a, um…

Clint: An apple.

Travis: Ever-burning lamp. That one of Kilvin’s students made.

Griffin: Ookay. One of them brings you a golden glowing apple? That, um, they brought from one of the like, workshops. And it’s just like some student’s work, that they made this like glowing, bright apple? Um, but it looks like- it actually looks like, incredibly valuable. Like it was made with incredibly valuable materials and they hand it to you and they say,



[Laughter]



Clint: [Laughs]



Justin: And I give them whatever coin I’ve accumulated in this podunk reality. Uh,



Griffin: Um, take +1 asset for this cool, golden apple. You all are really writing this down, right, I cannot stress how important these numbers are gonna be.

Justin: I have, I have a chart--

Griffin: Okay.

Justin: --right in front of me.

Griffin: Um--

Travis: Uh, along with the ducks Ditto, I- I would like- I would like to take Lucretia with me, when I return to the cave.

Griffin: Yeah she’s really fuckin’ curious about these fish. And I think this- every time you go to the cave, and bring back more ducks, this baby fish like, meets you at the mouth of the cave. And- and leads you in. And when it sees Lucretia come in with you, it kind of recoils a little bit, and tries to hide.



Griffin: And she shows her- uh- she shows- she shows this fish some of the drawings in her, uh, in her book. In her books, I guess. And the Voidfish, warms up, and kind of brushes up against her, and she kind of laughs, and, sure enough this baby fish leads you deeper and back into the cave. And the first time Lucretia comes with you, um, those- those other fish, uh, the- the- the bigger ones kind of come over to her, um...one of them, there’s like a- there’s like a pretty big pond in the center of this chamber, that these, uh, stalactites are just constantly dripping down into.

One of these fish, just like splashes out of the pond, and like splashes Lucretia, in like a huge, like sit-too-close-at-Seaworld wave. And she like turns her- she turns quick and tries to get her books away, but gets like doused by this water. And she’s- she’s like kind of horrified. She’s like,



Griffin: And sh- so you hang out with Lucretia and the Voidfish. How many- how many over the next like few days, how many ducks do you bring in.

Travis: Aw man, I think I can max do three ducks a day--

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: --but don’t get me wrong, they’re getting better. You know what I mean? There’s definite duck improvement.

Griffin: Um, Lucretia like spends her time in this cavern with you. You spend it like sort of hanging out and playing- playing ducks, with the- the baby fish, while Lucretia like, illustrates some of these creatures, tries to like understand their anatomy. Um, also she--

Travis: I- I also I- I don’t wanna miss an opportunity, Ditto, I’d also love to like, petition the V- the- the fish, the jellyfish and see if they know anything about the Light of Creation. I mean as long as we’re looking for help, they’ve collected all this information and they know all of these thing- I would love to try to convey to them what I’m looking for?

Griffin: Yeah, I mean this- this conversation is just gonna be always sort of, by nature of the thing, like, one-sided? I- I don’t think they they know how to like, tell you whether or not they know what you’re- what you’re talking about.

Travis: Gotcha.

Griffin: But you spend a lotta time with this creature, this baby fish, the smallest one, the one that always leads you into the cave. And, you feel this like- you feel a bond with it. Um, take- take +2 bond. Um, for spending time here with Lucretia and spending time with this baby Voidfish. Um, and--

Travis: Can I- can I just address the elephant in the room, Griffin?

Griffin: Yeah.

Travis: I’m not leaving that fish behind.

[Creepy music plays]

Griffin: When the Hunger comes to this world, for the first time in a long time, the seven of you are, surprised. It’s- it’s early by a couple of days. And, unlike its other appearances where it kind of forms like a storm overhead and then touches down across the world erratically, it’s just, BOOM. It’s just immediately on top of you.

Um, you’re having breakfast in the Conservatory lounge and then the sky turns black and the grass turns gray, and it’s just there. It’s- it’s like it knew where you were. Um, and immediately, Davenport is like,



Griffin: And fuckin’ runs out of the room, uh, towards the Starblaster. Um, and- and other folks follow suit. Um, Magnus what do you do?



Griffin: Uhh--

Travis: And I go.

Griffin: Lup says,



Griffin: Um, she pulls out--

Travis: And I go, full sprint, full sprint.

Griffin: Alright, she pulls out a wand, and...Barry pulls out a wand and they turn to all of you and Lup’s like,



Griffin: Um, so the- the scene is you, Magnus, rushing, uh into the mouth of the cave, while everyone else is just sort of standing on the Starblaster which is parked out on this lake, um, sort of adjacent to the- the valley there. Uh, just sort of firing shots at- at everything, uh, approaching this ship, and firing shots at things sort of attacking the Conservatory, which, because of your efforts, is partially? Evacuated? Um, Magnus, roll a plus body.

Travis: [rolls dice] Hell yeah, that would be an 11.

Griffin: You make it into the cave so- so fast. And even though the fish isn’t- isn’t there to greet you at the mouth, you still make it in okay. And you reach the- the center of the- uh, of the chamber. And all of the big jellyfish that you’ve seen in here, are all sort of submerged under the water of the pond, and the baby jellyfish is sort of floating above it, sort of like singing- singing to them, but they are not, they are not answering. And it seems kind of panicked. And- and the ground is sorting to start of shake beneath your feet, and, um, there are rocks sort of peeling off the walls. You see one of the entrances that leads to one of the other conservatories just collapse. Like immediately adjacent to you.

Travis: Uhh- I- I- uh...I pull out a duck. That I have with me.

Griffin: Okay.

Travis: That I was gonna give the fish later.

Griffin: Okay, its- it- it flies over to you, and it sings a song, but you can tell it seems kind of nervous, um, about all of its like, family members or whatever, not- not comin’ with. Um, and you- you hear some- you hear Lucretia’s voice shouting down the mouth of the cave, um, that you just came through, and she’s saying like,



Travis: I- can I see the other V- luh- the other fishes around?

Griffin: They’re like under- they’re deep, deep underwater in this pond in the middle of this massive cavern chamber.

Travis: Uh, I- I look down into the water and say,



Travis: And I grab it. And run.

Griffin: Uh, okay I’ll use that body roll that you used earlier, because like this thing doesn’t understand being grabbed? It doesn’t know what you’re doing. Um, and it kinda fights you a little bit, but you’re just sort of--

Travis: I start humming.

Griffin: [Smiling] O-kay, you’re humming this song that you’ve hum a few times, and it seems to calm it down. And you and Lucretia just sort of race--she’s like firing off shots too, at- at these like shadows that are starting to like, full force sprint at you, as you make your way back to the ship. Um, and she clears a path for you two to, for you three to run back to the Starblaster, and get onboard. And take off. And Davenport like, just throws this thing, like, a dart into the sky. Just like, the- the fastest acceleration that you’ve felt this thing give, uh, this whole time.

As it launches up into the sky, and as you’re flying up and- and past the barrier, there’s a moment of anx- of- of tension and anxiety, where you don’t know if this things gonna be there, after you pass through the barrier between realities. You’ve seen, you know, small animals or whatever stay, and you’ve seen people disappear. But as you pass through that barrier, both you and Lucretia are just staring intently at the fish, just desperately hoping, and- and as your vision clears, you see it.

And it’s still floating in front of you. It’s a little confused, obviously, but it’s here, and it’s safe. And it would stay safe for the rest of your journey across existence. The next year, you and Lucretia find a- a big glass tank, and she keeps it in her quarters. Her cabin was always bigger than yours.

And, you’d go to it, from time to time. To sing it songs, or...give it carvings. Your- your repertoire expanded but, it still likes your ducks the best. It delighted in your company, Magnus. And it still does.

[Voidfish theme plays]

[THEME SONG PLAYS OUT]