The Adventure Zone: Commitment - Episode 1/Transcript

Commitment - Episode 1 (part of TAZscripts on Tumblr)

[Theme music (The Adventure Zone: Commitment Theme by Griffin McElroy) plays]

Clint:: Okay, hi everybody! Welcome to The Adventure Zone. I am your internet father, Clint McElroy.

Griffin: Don’t say that! That’s bad— that’s— [crosstalk]

Travis: That’s weird!

Clint:: Is that a bad thing?

Justin: That’s a weird look.

Griffin: Yeah, that's no good. Definitely a weird look.

Clint:: Alright, I’ll back off of that. I am your GM. Your game master—

Justin: Your Griffin McElroy?

Clint:: The general manager.

Justin: Oh.

Clint:: Along with my three sons. Go ahead and identify your guy— yourselves, guys.

Travis: Did you— I wanna say, this is a weird start. Are we assuming people listening to this episode have never heard this before?

Clint:: Yeah! I'm anticipating a whole new influx of new blood.

Justin: Fresh start, my name is Justin McElroy, I'm your oldest brother, and I'm portraying the dual roles of Irene Baker and Kardala.

Travis: I’m Travis McElroy, I'm the middlest brother, and I am portraying Nadiya Jones.

Griffin: Folks ‘round here call me Griffin McElroy, I'm playing the role of Remy, and I'm going to try to watch how much I talk because I got a lot of tweets from people, maybe a little mean spirited, accusing me of backseat DMing [Clint laughs] during the world building episode we did. So, imma watch that because I was very sensitive about that, and it did hurt my feelings [Clint: Aww] and maybe it was— maybe it was all me, but words hurt and my feelings are fragile.

Travis: Like, here’s the thing, the real— real question we have to address then is— is it— let's take it back to backseat driving. Is it backseat driving if the driver has no idea where they're going, and you in the backseat are giving helpful directions?

Griffin: If the driver of the car is some sort of baby who's never driven a car before or perhaps [Travis: Right] a big wild dog who jumped in through the window, yeah I would backseat drive on that one ‘cause otherwise— [crosstalk]

Clint:: I’ll tell you what: if I get us lost, you guys can step in, how's that sound?

Griffin: Um [Justin: Okay] that sounds good. We should mention that you should go listen to the world building episode you wanna know anything about the thing we're doing because I think dad just kinda wants to hop into it, right?

Clint:: Yeah, and there will be some recapping involved in that process.

Griffin: Okay. [crosstalk]

Travis: We did a whole hour and a half long episode.

Griffin: Yeah, we did a lot. [Justin: Yeah] We should also mention that we're using Roll20, and we’re gonna not refer to the board that you put together, ‘cause the visual element won't necessarily carry over, but there's always a lot of very good, very stretched out jpgs on this baby.

Justin: A lot of, Dad put together this imagery. There's a lot of fun with aspect ratios happening.

Clint:: Yeah that's real fun [crosstalk]

Griffin: [crosstalk] There’s three— three laser barriers—

Travis: I also like that in dad’s clip art search, he apparently found two like, people kind of icons, and the rest are a cat, what looks like a blood splatter but purple, a glowing blue eye, a brain—

Griffin: A floating brain. I can't wait to talk to brain.

Justin: Uh, I went ahead and screencapped this so if you go ahead and tweet me and remind me, I'll get it out there later.

Griffin: Okay, Dad, weave a tale. I want it. [Justin: Weave.] I want it. I'm ready.

Clint:: Alright, you three are brand new recruits to an organization called The Do Good Fellowship. Uh, and it basically is a humanitarian organization that goes around the world helping people in trouble. It's a very simple edict of what they do. Um, and you three are part of the newest expansion of this organization, um, up ‘till now they've been sort of like a think tank, creating ideas, identifying trouble spots, but they now wanna get boots on the ground, so they have instituted the new program where they are bringing in their next... circle, I guess, and these are operatives, you are three of the twelve new operatives that are being brought in.

So, your three characters were brought in on these really cool little VTOL (Vertical Takeoff and Landing) Ships called skimmers, called so because they kinda skim along the surface of the water, or on the land, or whatever. And, reported to a place you have affectionately named—

Travis: So, wait, just to clarify they do vertical take off and landing and two inches off the ground?

Griffin: And then they fly reeeal low. I feel like— I feel like (stammering) It's not what they're designed to do, it's just all the pilots at the fellowship are just real cocky pieces of shit.

Clint:: I want to visualize this, that there's this spray up behind them as they skim along—

Griffin: Oh, I got that spray, I got that spray.

Travis: Oh yeah, spray, spray locked in.

Clint:: It's very Baywatch-y.

Griffin: Are we on the Berg right now, the headquarters for the fellowship?

Clint:: Yeah, we have flown into the Berg which is the giant floating platform headquarters for The Do-Good Fellowship, that is located toward the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. So it's outside of United States territorial waters, and outside any other.

Griffin: I do a murder, because nobody can do anything about it, what's up?

Travis: Yeah, I open a floating casino.

Clint:: You guys— you have— it is a Giant Floating Casino of Hope. [Justin laughs] So, right off the bat when you land, you land separately, there’s three different vehicles. These skimmers, by the way, are like drones. They're operated from the actual Berg themselves.

Travis: What's the beverage service like?

Clint:: There are some light beverages, but if you want wine or beer, you have to pay.

Travis: Ugh, that's how they get ya.

Clint:: Everything else is complimentary, and then there's peanuts. And these are specially grown peanuts—

Griffin: I’m allergic to peanuts, I— [crosstalk]

Griffin: Oh, ‘cause I was gonna say, I’m allergic to peanuts, you’re saying I've eaten peanuts for the first time... I’m adding by the way, the aspect of being allergic to peanuts to my sheet.

Clint:: So, the very first thing you're greeted by your three department heads, your separate department heads, Remy you are in Information Technology, Irene is in Humanities, and Nadiya, you are in Research Development. So, you are greeted by your three department heads, Nadiya’s department head is named Joe, Remy’s department head is Potts, Irene’s department head is Grace.

You will be meeting all three of these like, right now. So after a quick stop to freshen up in your quarters, you go to this, what they're calling, a mixer, and that's where our first scene takes place.

Travis: Question one, is it mandatory?

Clint:: Yes.

Travis: Okay, then Nadiya is there.

Clint:: Okay, right off the bat, you're mixing with strangers. So,  I know that’s not exactly Nadiya’s wheelhouse— [crosstalk]

Travis: It's not that she can't do it, I wanna be clear, it’s not that she can't do it—

Clint:: Right.

Griffin: She doesn't prefer it.

Travis: She has more important things to do with her time.

Griffin: Remy’s pressin’ the flesh.

Travis: Gross. Gross, gross, gross.

Clint:: Is that an aspect? Is that one of her aspects?

Travis: What? Yes.

Clint:: She has better things to do with her time then to go meet people?

Travis: That's not really an aspect, just a fact. It fits in with my overarching aspect of Values Logic Over Humanity. Hyper-focused scientist, I would say that falls under.

Clint:: There you go, okay. Well, when you walk in this gigantic, room, it's called the Fellowship Hall, and it's kind of a general purpose, meeting, debriefing kind of a very flexible arrangement, and you notice when you walk in through the door there are three screens covering almost the entirety of the three walls.

Directly in front of you is a great big screen that has the twenty four questions logo, the two four question mark logo, which is very important to The Do-Good Fellowship. And that screen has a big representation of the logo on it, kind of a scroll at the bottom that's keeping you up to date on local weather and [Travis: Heat scores] you know, what's going on. Yeah, and music that’s playing. We’ll get to that in just a minute. But in front of that screen, great big free open self serve bar. [Justin: Nice] So right off the bat, the bartender is an anomaly in my graphic.

Travis: Tell me more about the bartender, because he looks very stretched out—

Clint:: He's not, that's not, I shouldn't have— [crosstalk]

Griffin: Is that his power, that he can stretch super good?

Clint:: It’s, yeah, I tried to crop him out, but I failed.

Travis: No no no dad, I'm sorry, I know you're new to this, but when you GM a game, and you have the chance to create a bartender, you create the hell out of that bartender.

Griffin: You need to make a bartender. [crosstalk]

Clint:: Well, let's just say that one of the department heads is working bar [Griffin: That's fine.] Let’s say, Parson, let’s say Parson is tending this bar just as a lark. This is a small operation, there are twenty four people on this base covering all these different jobs [crosstalk]

Travis: Parson is the department head of Risk Understanding. We know this because Dad has helpfully created a cheat sheet of all the characters and their positions.

Clint:: On the left side wall, the giant projection screen has this really cool, like color coded map of the Berg. Where all the different sections are, and every so often it will zoom in and show the different people that work there and show some of the things they do. Kind of an industrial film about The Do-Good Fellowship.

And over on the right side projection screen, is just cutting to the different shots of the actual mixer. The different people at the mixer, and what they're doing. Maybe there's some dancing, there's a dance floor in the middle, people are dancing, because the music is playing constantly. In front of that screen is this really cool high-tech jukebox, where you just go, it's voice activated, and you can make a request of practically any song on the planet.

So, you look up on that screen, the middle screen, there is the part of the scroll that is the songs that are playing, and who they're by, and who requested it. So, there's music playing, you’ve got the bar in front of the top screen, you've got the jukebox on the right side. There are four tables about chest-high, abdomen-high, no seats, there's no chairs. This is a mixer, I don't want people sitting and just staying there. Then you’ve got four tables in the different corners of the room with all kinds of different food, all finger food, tapas kind of thing, from all over the world [Griffin: They got sliders?] Any what?

Griffin: Sliders.

Clint:: Oh, they make sliders of every— there's a whole table of nothing but sliders.

Justin: Nice.

Travis: Butt sliders? Gross!

Griffin: Remy’s going on what he's called a slider quest, which is he's going from table to table just, trying trying all the sliders, ‘cause maybe there's different sliders at the other table. Oh no, this is the same slider, but I'll keep trying.

Clint:: All four of these tables have all these different kinds of foods and all these different really interesting things. And like I said, the jukebox, the songs don't stop, people keep going up to the jukebox and making song requests, you've got the four food stations, you've got the full open bar where you could serve yourself, but Parson has decided he’ll just have some fun and he’ll get up there. Alphabet City by Prince, requested by Abbey, is playing right now. At least, that's what the scroll says and so—

Griffin: I look at Abbey and give her a big thumbs up. Good call.

Clint:: It's playing, so you got your four tables, six people at a table, and the table that you are at right now is the table that has you three and your three directors sitting there. So, this seems to be kind of the meet and greet portion of the mixer so take the opportunity to kinda get to know each other, your department heads have introduced you just barely, but you know I think everybody at the table would like to know a little bit about ya, so...

Travis: Nadiya gets up to go request a song.

Clint:: Okay, what does Nadiya request?

Travis: Uh, I’m going to type it in the chat.

Griffin:  Oh boy. [crosstalk]

Clint:: [laughing] Okay—

Griffin: If it’s gonna be like LMFAO that would be quite a surprise for— oh, Justin actually wrote “Aspect: allergic to peanuts,” thank you.

Clint:: [Laughing]

Griffin: Okay, that's a very good song for Nadiya.

Clint:: “She Blinded Me with Science” is playing, by Thomas Dolby, so it says “She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby, requested by Nadiya.” So that starts thrumming up after Alphabet City.

Griffin: I feel like I probably know Irene, I have an aspect that is sort of Irene focused, unless you don’t want that, unless you want this to be the first time we met, but I'm just thinking she's in Human Resources, I’ve probably dealt with her at some point. Probably not—

Justin: [cross talk] She's met, I feel she's probably met everybody but on a pretty cursory basis—

Clint:: Yeah, you’ve only be here for like a day or two, so, you know about each other, you know about each other, Remy, because you’re information technology, and...

Griffin:[crosstalk] Okay, I’ve read their emails.

Travis: [Laughing]

Clint:: [Laughing] and you've been gathering information through the process, you guys have been through this really long detailed interview process, and screening process, to get vetted, so do you guys wanna share anything about each other?

Griffin: Yeah, so I look at Irene and say:



Griffin: And I motion to the pyramid, the slider pyramid, that I built on the table.



Justin: And she, and she does. Adding aspect “slider full.”

Clint:: [laughing]

Travis: Nadiya, during this, is scribbling out various formulae on napkins, some cocktail napkins.

Griffin: I look at Nadiya and I say—



Justin: I just want to check on something— this is Justin now. [Travis: Uh huh] I just want to know sort of what the next few months of my life are going to be like. Are your guys character voices just not— just they’re— they’re just you guys? [crosstalk] Is that sort of what we’re doing?

Griffin: [crosstalk] Mine’s more of— mine’s kind of me, but like very positive.

Travis: Well here’s the thing, yeah, I—

Justin: Is this your way around the Justin McElroy character voice [crosstalk] sort of policing?

Travis: I was trying to come up with a character voice for Nadiya and I— I feel like it will find itself, you know what I mean?

Griffin: Yeah, let’s not— let’s not sweat it.

Travis: [crosstalk] I don’t want to force it.

Clint:: And I’m doing twenty-two character voices [crosstalk] at least so...

Griffin: [crosstalk] Yeah, tell me about it.

Justin: That’s great.

Griffin: I ask Nadiya to see if she can use math to help me with my burger pyramid. Maybe there’s some way that I can make it sort of more structurally sound, using some sort of formula.



Clint:: [laughing]



Clint:: [Laughing] At this point Joe speaks up:



Justin: [Laughing]



Justin: [crosstalk] Dad got about three seconds into that before Travis typed in the chat “Aspect: Nadiya does not care for Joe.”



Justin: Like three syllables.

Clint:: Just then, “She Blinded Me With Science” is starting to end, it was a big choice too, put quite a few people on the dance floor.



Travis: And Nadiya goes in to request it again.

Clint:: [Laughing] Well before it plays, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears, requested by Martine, that shows up. After a few minutes of incredibly warm and bonding conversation, Hugh gets up. Where did I put Hugh...?

Travis: Is he the floating brain or the cat?

Clint:: No.

Justin: Diversity Inclusion.

Clint:: Yeah, Diversity Inclusion. [Travis: Okay] So, Hugh gets up and Hugh says:



Travis: There an iPod Touch in here?

Griffin: I didn’t know how bad I wanted to hear that voice say the word swag until you did it and now—

Clint:: [in Hugh’s voice] Swag bag.

Griffin: and now it’s changed—

Travis: Swag!



Clint:: And you hear these voices and they start to read twenty-four questions.



Justin: If you were to look over at Irene during this, you would note and you would look closely you would notice her mouthing the words. She’s like, deeply deeply into this.

Clint:: Well then— [crosstalk]

Griffin: I think— I think I—

Travis: I also! I also want you to know that uh, when number three is read “Has any citizen in your knowledge failed in his business lately?” Um, Nadiya is just like, staring at Remy.

Griffin: I did my best! I’m taking— I don’t notice cause I’m taking notes. Cause I really wanna ace this... test??

Clint:: Let’s start with your table. Irene, why don’t you start.

Justin: This is out of character. Listener, that was number twelve, we’re halfway there, baby. We told you it was gonna be rough going, we’re going to read this very— [Clint laughs] I thought something was gonna explode, honestly, I thought we were gonna get three questions in and then he was gonna be like [imitating Clint] And then Skeletor [crosstalk] was like fuck all of this!

Clint:: Alright, can we post this too?

Justin: Uh, the whole—

Griffin: Yeah, sure!

Justin: The whole list? Yeah.

Clint:: Post the whole list and then we’ll move on.

Justin: And then they did the rest of them and everyone was into it.

Travis: And then as the propellers spun, it cut to the end of the list, Nadiya reads number twenty four!



Clint:: Ooh! Good, I’m glad you skipped to that one.

Travis: Yeah.

Clint:: and this like the Kiwanis that they say the Kiwanis’ pledge, at the beginning of— of every— of every—

Griffin: Every meeting they stand there and they read these twenty four—

Justin: After reading this, how can they do this— [ Crosstalk]

Clint:: Well, the Kiwanis—

Travis: Now that the first hour and fifteen minutes has passed, we shall begin the meeting of the Junto.



Clint:: So uh these swag bags are— It’s not— It’s not really fair to call them swag bags because they do have, uh, a purpose. They’re like, cylindrical, almost. Made of, uh, made of a kind of unusual fabric— like a duffel bag but you could wear it as a backpack or you can wear it as a duffel bag. And there’s a flap, and the flap has a triangular indentation on the front of it.

Travis: Um, I think there’s been some kind of mistake, cause my swag bag is just filled with koozies.

Clint:: No, you haven’t opened them yet.

Travis: Seventy koozies in here. [Clint laughs] Is that weird?

Clint:: You haven’t opened it yet.

Griffin: I have a, uh, I have a aspect which is just restless? So I think like I’m definitely into these questions and I definitely want to do a good job today. Uh, it’s very important to me that I do that. But like I am definitely opening that bag like while the last few questions are being read ‘cause I just can’t wait anymore.

Clint:: How did you open it?

Griffin: I popped open that triangular latch, I just started fiddlin’ with that-

Clint:: How did you-How did-How did you do that?

Griffin: With my ha- adult hand.

Clint:: No. Well you’re close.

Justin: Your tongue.

Griffin: With my tong-do you want me to french kiss the bag? I tried to french kiss the bag but it’s not--

Travis: Nadiya is just watching this

Justin: With your fingerprint!

Griffin: Okay I stick my thumb right in that opening.

Clint:: And it pops open.



Clint:: Thumb it!



Clint:: You all do that. Inside these swag bags, the first thing you notice are these really cool vests. These are like utility vests in the fact that they’re-- the inside pockets and outside pockets these will hold all your electronics, your cell phones, your tablets, your anything else. Um and they’re like a dark charcoal gray and you notice that there’s another triangular indentation on the left breast of these vests.

Griffin: I put my fidget spinner in it and spin it. It doesn’t-[Justin chuckling under his breath] I don’t think anything happens there I don’t think that was the solution to the puzzle but I just wanted to establish Remy does have at least one fidget spinner.

Clint:: Inside the swag bag in addition to that are triangular badges that have the uh the twenty four mark question logo on it. But when you touch it, boom a picture of you pops up on the badge. It is triangular shaped--



Clint:: It is triangular shaped.

Griffin: Um I take the badge and I put it on the vest where the hole is?

Clint:: Yeah! And it kinda makes a little sound and more information about you pops up on the badge. Your name, uh your department, and your DH.

Griffin: Like Remy-wh-Remy loves gadgets and tech shit so much that this is-- this is w--this is wonderful for him. He is - he is, with childlike glee just opening all the pockets and-and touching all the things.

Travis: Nadiya doesn’t really wear badges. Uh--

Griffin: Well I had a-- I had a question, does Nadiya like know about this stuff ahead of time? Cause we’ve talked about it for a little bit that she’s in R&D which I don’t know if she knows what this bag and badge and--[ Clint: interrupts]

Clint:: Ssshe’s-- I don’t think she’s familiar with this technology but coming up, technology that she is familiar with. Also inside the bags are these like small pointers-pen lights but when you thumb the little bulb on it, you really can’t see any reactions so you kinda put those up--and a bag of Werther’s.

Justin: Nice!

Griffin: Yeah.

Travis: Really?

Clint:: Yeah I’m just looking for sponsorships.

Travis: Oh.

Clint:: By the way, Walk The Dinosaur by Was (Not Was) requested by Pridmore has shown up on the scroll.

Griffin: I look at--

Travis: Hell yeah.

Griffin: I look at Pridmore with a sneer. Not my favorite. Um--

Travis: Nadiya throws a thumbs up. That song rules.

Clint:: Hugh also mentions that when you activate the uh the vests with the badges, the fabric itself takes on almost like a protective armor kind of thing, it’s very it-it well I mean it’s not gonna stop a mortar or a-- but it might deflect a blade, it might deflect bullets, uh, something that might come in very handy, uh, when you guys start going on your missions. And so while you’re looking at the-the bags, uh, again there’s a little lull in, uh, what’s going on, uh, so Hugh says.



Clint:: So, what do you do?

Griffin: I look at everybody at my table and I say



Griffin: I look at uh Potts, the IT lead and I like--

Clint:: Potts says-



Travis: [ Laughing loudly] Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay then fine! Alright!

Justin: That is- I will-I will point out that is what cults say [Laughs]

Justin: I think it’s written--

Travis: That is what a cult would say-- Oh it’s not!

Justin: Yeah very few cults are like- oh yeah it’s a cult. [Laughter]



Travis: Yeah, you got me.



Clint:: Just then, on the-on the scroll on the screen says The Dance by Garth Brooks requested by Grey.

Griffin: (Very dramatically) Greeeyy!

Justin: Killing me

Clint:: Grey loves country music you guys [A little crosstalk but it’s short]

Clint:: At this point, a new person stands up.

Justin: I will say also The Dance is a beautiful song that transcends genres so I think that they’re fine.

Clint:: And it is Garth Brooks.

Travis: I mean it’s no Thunder Rolls but it’s alright.

Justin: Callin’ Baton Rouge are you kidding me? [Travis makes a really weird noise]

Justin: Crank that.

Clint:: So Martine stands up--

Justin: Justin goes up and requests Callin’ Baton Rouge by Garth Brooks [Griffin laughs]

[Crosstalk]

Justin: I’m there.

Clint:: Justin is there to crash the party!

Clint:: Martine stands and introduces herself as Martine. She’s the head of security uh and she overheard Remy uh asking Potts if this is a test and she smiles. Uh you can tell that she uh she has a sense of humor about her. Uh she say that--



Clint:: And she says-



Clint:: And all the department heads leave the tables uh--

Travis: Just quick question, is this mandatory?

Clint:: Yes it is.

Justin: Is it just the three of us in here? Or are there like--

Clint:: No, the other operatives are at the other tables.

Justin: There’s like what nine others? Is that right?

Clint:: Nine others. Right.

Justin: Okay.

Clint:: So as they’re leaving through one exit--there’s only one exit. As they’re leaving through the exit, Joe kinda looks back um over his-his shoulder and says--



Clint:: As they leave Martine gets ready to leave and she says--



Griffin: Egg-spoon race, like fingers crossed like hunched over--

Travis: Take the egg across the floor.

[Crosstalk]



Clint:: And the door is left opened as they walk out.

[The Taz Commitment Theme plays]

{31:55-37:45}[Commercial Break]

[Transition music - Taz Commitment Theme]

Clint:: Just then, the scroll at the bottom of the screen says “West Palm Beach Florida” by Coldplay.

Griffin: Oh god we’ve got to get out of this fucking room.

Clint:: Requested by blank.

Griffin: Well I don’t see any eggs or spoons so I think that we should probably try to figure out this puzzle. Um..

Justin: So is it the three of-  is, like, three at a table is that what’s happening?

Clint:: There’s three people at each table. Yeah. Let me- let me you tell who’s at the tables. Table two-- you guys are table one even though you’re in the bottom right hand corner. Um at table two are Grey, Flanagan, and Addison. At table three Sylviane, Litti,and Jamie. And at four, Pridmore, Dagney, and Abbey.

Griffin: First of all, Coldplay doesn’t have a song- I’m- this is Remy-



Clint:: No. There is no cellphone service.

Griffin: I try to- I try to get my cell phone out to like fact check that. But I-



Justin: Oh yeah and Irene is sorta yelling as much as she does, um...



Clint:: Mmm nope.



Clint:: It said “West Palm Beach Florida by Coldplay requested by…” [crosstalk] and there was blank

Griffin: [crosstalk] Blank.

Griffin: Yeah I think Jus-uh um uh Nadiya is just trying to make sure before we move on to any sort of other investigation. Um..West Palm Beach. Alright we have to leave this room in a certain order. I think we need to investigate like either the jukebox or the door-- or something. Cause I don’t think we have enough information to solve this right now.

Clint:: Okay, yeah! What are you going to investigate?

Travis: I am going [Dice noises] to investigate..

Justin: Now Travis you’re making dice noises are you gonna... do...

Travis: Oh yeah! We’ve got the thing and the thing. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Justin: Yeah.

Travis: I wanted to have the-- maybe there are people who only listen to this show to get like dice sound ASMR Justin, you don’t know.

Justin: They can edit it-- they can edit in their own.

Travis: Okay. I want to investigate the high-tech jukebox. How about that?

Clint:: Go for it!

Griffin: That’s not good?

Travis: No that ain’t great, but I add +3

Justin: And Travis rolled a -1, we do need to say these things.

Travis: Yeah I rolled a - 1, +3 is a 2.

Clint:: Okay! When you go over to the high tech jukebox, you notice that the song “West Palm Beach, Florida” by Coldplay is not in its database.

Griffin: [mumbling under his breath] It doesn’t exist... [then clear voice] What are we hearing? Like what are- what- are we hearing like an original Coldplay composition that they wrote specifically for this test?

Clint:: It’s just kind of a generic song that would sound kinda like--

Griffin: You’re describing a Coldplay song. (pause)

(Justin snickering)

Clint:: Yeah.

Griffin: Okay, okay.

Clint:: So that’s it, it’s some kinda Coldplay-ish music.

Griffin: I wanna roll Notice just for the room, just to see like--this is basically perception check right? So this will be like uh-

Clint:: Okay. (Dice roll)

Griffin: Jesus Christ, that’s 0. So everything looks good to me! I didn’t- I- I’m still looking for spoons and eggs over here so um--

Clint:: But you know what, even a 0 I think I will give you one.

Griffin: Okay!

Clint:: You notice that, uh at table two Addison is really taking a long hard look at the penlight pointer. [Justin: Hm.] in his hand.



Justin: Uh Irene takes out her penlight she’s got, it’s the inverse of Kardala so her investigation is a +2 and let me get that quick roll going. Uh...

Griffin: Would love a good roll. Nope? Still no that’s a 0.

Justin: No, it’s a 2 though, which in the ladder of Fate is fair. Um… She uh takes out her penlight and does a Notice check um around the room just to see if the light coming out of it has any effect anywhere in the room.

Clint:: And you notice that when you just kinda flash it around the room, it- it seems like there was a flash when you pointed it at Nadiya.

Justin: Weird. Okay I point it at her again.

Griffin: I try- I also- I am now also try [sic] quartering Nadiya with my pen, just to see if it also flashes.

Travis: And I’m kinda scanning myself with it.

Clint:: That’s--that’s good.

Justin: Okay…

Travis: Palm! At the palm!

Griffin: You gotta shoot it at her beach… I mean her palm [someone laughs]- shoot it at her west palm, your left hand palm I guess?

Clint:: You shoot it at your palm, and you see the number 582.

Griffin: Alright so she has to leave the room five hundred and eighty second- There’s not--

Clint:: But when you shine it on your own palms...nothing.

Justin: (mumbling) 582

Clint:: Just then! [Travis: Wah!] The scroll, the scroll on the bottom of the screen says “Walking On Sunshine” and it starts playing.

Justin: Uh Irene checks her feet with the light.

Clint:: Nothing.

Griffin: I check my feet with the light?

Clint:: Nope.



Travis: Uh, Nadiya checks her feet I guess.

Clint:: Nothing.

Griffin: M’kay.

Clint:: Now you’ve got--remember there are three of you and there are three other tables.



Justin: I’m going to use Empathy to try to [Clint:: Good.] uh convince him um--

Griffin: Well that would be Rapport probably right? Empathy is like if you were trying to tell if someone was lying to you or figuring out their emotional state.

Justin: Okay yes Rapport. Which she has a +3 on Rapport, so. (Dice Roll)

Griffin: [Crosstalk] Oh hell yeah!

Justin: [Crosstalk] Oh! Hell yeah that’s a 3.

Clint: Aw really good.

Justin: That’s a 3 [Travis: +3] plus... +3, so 6, which in the Fate system is fantastic Rapport.

Clint:: That’s fantastic.



Travis: I feel like I’ve known you my whole life!



Griffin: Hmm.



Clint:: And table three starts to respond, but Jamie at table three makes them stop. And Jamie says---

Travis: I’m going to intimidate the shit out of Jamie.



Travis: I get uh 2- well, so I rolled equal to 0 +2 to intimidate… to intimidate Jamie.

Clint:: Okay.

Justin: In the Fate system, 2 is fair.

Clint:: So Jamie says, um--



Griffin: W-woah! [Justin: Shit!] I don’t like hearing my dad say that.

Clint:: Yeah, I- Your dad didn’t. Jamie did.

Griffin: Uh I look at-- I look at uh-- [Crosstalk]

Clint:: And she- She reaches out and gives you a shove [Travis: Woooooah!] Nadiya.



Griffin: Oh by the way the whole time this conversation is happening, fucking Walking on Sunshine is playing and that is so good to me. That’s a very good scene this happening right now.

Clint:: Jamie holds up her palm. You shine your light on her palm and it says 467.

Griffin: Okay so these are all distinct numbers. Um can I check the jukebox and see if somebody requested Walking on Sunshine?

Clint:: You sure can. [Griffin: I do--] Martine did.

Griffin: Martine--Martine’s not here though right?

Clint:: That’s right.

Griffin: Hm.

Justin: Oh wait! [Griffin mumbling out the words to Walking on Sunshine.] We’re still missing one number right? Four tables with three people?



Clint:: So the information-the information to be-- let me be fair, the information that came up when you checked the jukebox said Walking on Sunshine by blank requested by Martine.



Travis: Don’t ask how Nadiya knows that.

Griffin: Um we all know a lot of things that we shouldn’t. Yeah we walk over to the other table or I walk over to the other table and say--



Clint:: Pridmore speaks up and Pridmore says--



Griffin: Um, I reach into my wallet-



Griffin: Of course I hand it over, it’s nothing!

Clint:: Okay [Justin laughs] Well--[ Griffin: It’s garbage!] she loves pasta.

Griffin: Okay.



Clint:: So Abbey--it’s Abbey like Downton Abbey, [Griffin: Okay!] Abbey holds up his hand, you shine the light on it and it’s 602.

Justin: What? Dam- well- okay wait a minute wu-wu-wu-is it.. Uh this is nothing nevermind. Are the numbers on--[Griffin: No!] Are the numbers on -- are the songs on the jukebox numbered?

Clint:: No.

Justin: Damn that would have been dope. I--

Clint:: Just then, the scroll on the middle screen shows Color my world by Chicago requested by Josie.

Griffin: Alright we’re getting back on track. Um, alright, Josie’s the engineering head…



Justin: S-Shine it on- Shine--



Griffin: Okay I shine my light on the map of the Berg.

Clint::When you shine your light on the map of the Berg, all of a sudden it goes back to the main section. It goes back to the main map showing all of the different departments and the colors as I said, are color coded and each department has their own color.

Travis: Cool!

Griffin: Okay. What is uh, can you tell us IT, Humanities, and R&D color?

Clint:: Sure! IT’s color is amethyst which is a blue violet. Uh R&D’s color is yellow, which is 582. And Humanities is violet- 403.

Griffin: Was there a number for amethyst? You didn’t tell us that.

Clint:: Amethyst is 439.

Griffin: Okay so we have some num-we have 582 right? And that was-was that the number that we started with?

Travis: Yeah so I’m 582...

Griffin: Wait why do the colors have numbers? [Crosstalk]

Justin: Okay you’re telling us this information

Clint:: All of a sudden, Walking on Sunshine plays again.

Griffin & Justin: Okay.

Griffin: But wait wait wait--

Justin: You’re telling this info-okay.

Travis: Aaah it’s the wavelengths of the visible spectrum. That’s what the colors are so 0 is black um [Justin: Okay.] and then as we go through, it’s uh violet is 380 or yeah 380 to 450. Blue is 450 to 495, Green is 495 to 570… Yellow is--

Clint:: All of a sudden, table two stands up and starts moving towards the door.

Griffin: Well stop stop stop! Don’t--

Justin: Fuck it-



Clint:: Grey, Flanagan and Addison break into a run.

Griffin: Yeah we’re running too! Can I roll athletics? I’m super fast.

Justin: But you can’t go first. [ Griffin: I know] I have to go first.

Clint::Well you’re closer to the door.

Travis: Okay we’re running.

Griffin: Alright we--

Justin: We’re running.

Griffin: We-We sprint through it, Irene, me, Nadiya.

Clint:: You have solved the color puzzle.

Justin and Griffin: Yaaaay!

Griffin: I do a flip through the door as I go cause that’s how I- That’s who I am.

Travis: And uh Nadiya flips off uh the other team.

Clint:: As you come out, Joe and Potts and Grace are there and Joe says--



Justin: Irene turns to the people coming through the door now-



Clint:: And Sylviane just looks at you like he could stab you in the head.

Griffin: Your vest won’t protect against that so be careful.

Clint:: Potts says--



Justin: Woah! Woah. I don’t see Potts on my guest list, what does Potts do?

Griffin: He’s IT head. He’s my-[crosstalk]

Clint:: Remy’s boss.



Griffin: I go get my pyramid of burgers.



Clint:: Okay um next morning rolls around. You go to a uh-one of the private dining rooms um in the section um--matter of fact, uh each one of the wings has their own private dining rooms and for right now you’re in Humanities. Remember Humanity in the Do Good Fellowship also includes medical so your three department heads are actually all three there. You sit down at a table, they can give you chairs this time, and you’re having a breakfast. And so uh Joe and Potts and uh Grace are talking to you. And uh Joe starts off cause he’s the head of R&D and he says--



Griffin: I rai--Remy raises his hand and waits.

Clint:: Now this--and this is where Grace steps in and she says um--



Clint:: And Potts says- Potts says--



Travis: Um I am actually going to a--what’s it called when you make yourself do something? A--

Griffin: Compel?

Travis: Yeah! I’m gonna do a Compel on myself, one of my aspects is Remy needs to be pushed. Um and I’m going to do that now and turn to Remy and say--



Travis: And Nadiya rolls up her sleeves and shows a patch of this smart polymer she tested on herself.



[Music fades in]



[End theme Music]